After greater than twenty years of not seeing her dad, home-grown actress-host Sharon Au thought 2024 would mark their grand reunion.
The 48-year-old Paris-based star, who fell out of contact along with her father, Mr Jeffrey Au, as a teen and reconnected with him over textual content solely lately, had plans to lastly meet him in individual this 12 months.
She meant to go to him over Chinese language New Yr and invite him to observe her act in a play to be staged at Huayi – Chinese language Competition of Arts in mid-February.
However on Christmas Day 2023, per week earlier than she returned to Singapore for rehearsals, she obtained information of his dying. He was 74.
“My final message to him was ‘Merry Christmas, dad’,” Au tells The Straits Instances at a sit-down interview at a restaurant in Aliwal Arts Centre in January. She has been rehearsing virtually each day on the centre.
“I despatched it on Christmas Eve, however he didn’t reply. I felt like one thing was incorrect as a result of he normally replies to all my texts inside 20 minutes. I assumed perhaps he was asleep.
“I attempted to fall asleep and waited for him to answer within the morning. He didn’t. The entire day, I couldn’t have fun. Then I obtained a textual content from my aunt that stated, ‘Sorry, your dad has handed.’”
Mr Au had been affected by vital gastric reflux points in his remaining years.
His dying was devastating for Au, who reconnected with him solely 5 years in the past. Her dad and mom divorced when she was two and she or he was shuttled between kinfolk.
She misplaced common contact along with her father – a former Felony Investigation Division police sergeant within the Secret Societies Department – in her final 12 months of major faculty. However he reached out to her on the peak of France’s Yellow Vests Protests in 2018, which precipitated fatalities.
“I don’t know the way he discovered my quantity, however he texted me out of the blue to say hello and that he noticed the information and ask how I used to be doing. I used to be shocked, as a result of we had been main separate lives, however I informed him it was good to listen to from him.”
Since then, the 2 stored in contact over textual content, sending greetings on events like birthdays and festive holidays.
“I used to be very guarded,” Au admits. “However he was very affectionate. He would inform me to decorate heat, ship me little poems addressed to his expensive daughter. It was the start of what I foresaw to be a grand reunion.”
Regardless of returning to Singapore a number of occasions prior to now 5 years, Au by no means arrange a gathering along with her father, who remarried when she was a baby.
She says: “I had qualms about visiting him as a result of I didn’t need to intrude on his household. We hadn’t seen one another in so lengthy that I didn’t know what his scenario was like. He additionally by no means requested to satisfy, so I assumed maybe it wasn’t handy for him.
“However I used to be going to place all that apart this 12 months and ask to see him.”
She is crammed with regrets about their missed reunion.
“I by no means obtained to inform him, ‘I really like you’. He informed me ‘I really like you’ each time we texted, however I didn’t. It’s not simple. I wished to say it to him in individual. However I did an excessive amount of ready and misplaced my probability.
“I’m very indignant with myself as a result of I ought to’ve recognized higher. I’ve been preaching about dwelling your life and seizing the day, however I didn’t practise what I preached. I didn’t do that most vital factor in my life. It’s an enormous wake-up name.”
Au final noticed her father when she was 23, whereas she was filming an episode of the favored Channel 8 selection present Metropolis Beat in Chinatown. He had chanced upon the shoot and was a part of the curious crowd that gathered to observe.
“He was at all times wearing all white, so he stood out. He was waving to me. I went as much as him to say hey, however I couldn’t linger for longer as a result of we have been filming,” she remembers.
Sharon Au and her father reconnected by way of textual content solely lately after dropping contact for many of her grownup life.
Credit score: Desmond Wee
Previous to that assembly, Au would get scheduled visits from him each month when she was in major faculty. She moved in with him for 2 years when she was in Main 4, however moved to a different relative’s house in Main 6 – which was when she misplaced contact with him.
She shouldn’t be involved along with her father’s facet of the household.
When requested why the 2 stopped speaking, she declines to offer extra data.
She was additionally estranged from her mom, Madam Irene Ong, whereas rising up, and reconnected along with her solely when she needed to transfer in along with her at 17.
Whereas their relationship was frosty at first, the pair reconciled after a number of years of dwelling collectively and have shared a detailed bond since.
Au says: “I believe it’s quite common for a kid of divorce accountable the dad and mom and, in my case, I blamed each of them. I felt they each deserted me and threw me to kinfolk. However now that I’m an grownup, I can see how circumstances are actually powerful typically.”
Au, who spent sleepless nights crying after her father died, has been mourning him by visiting the columbarium the place his stays are.
“Sooner or later, you’ll really feel a bit silly since you’re simply touching the stone and speaking. However I can’t cease speaking and it’s truly been very useful,” she says.
She additionally discovered solace in keepsakes like a pen, a whistle and a pair of white sneakers that belonged to him. She obtained the objects from his co-workers at St Andrew’s Secondary Faculty, the place he labored as an educator earlier than his dying.
Rehearsals for All the pieces For You, a play written and directed by Nelson Chia of 9 Years Theatre for Esplanade’s upcoming Huayi – Chinese language Competition of Arts, have additionally stored her busy.
It’s a sequel to Chia’s 2022 Huayi fee, Between You And Me, and can be staged on Feb 16 and 17. Au reprises her position as considered one of three sisters within the household drama.
“Beforehand, my position was very tragic and I needed to cry all through the present. It’s lighter this time, which is a lucky factor as a result of I can’t think about coming again and doing a tragedy (whereas in mourning),” she says.
Au, who give up her job as an funding director in a personal fairness agency in 2022 after her Paris house was burgled, has not taken up any full-time place since. She is glad to return to Singapore for the occasional stage play, however admits she shouldn’t be prepared to maneuver again for good.
The bachelorette migrated to France in 2018 and now resides within the capital along with her pet cat Rudon, who will flip 4 this 12 months.
She says: “There are too many reminiscences right here and it’s too unhappy. It’s not serving to me at this stage. Perhaps once I really feel much less misplaced and fewer troubled sooner or later, I’ll come again. However I’m a little bit of an escapist.
“You simply can’t begin afresh in a spot the place you grew up. Whenever you’re in a metropolis far-off the place nobody is aware of your historical past, you’re simply one other Asian girl with a cat.”
This text was first printed in The Straits Instances.
Supply: Her World
