If you’re a wellness fan and an incessant Instagram scroller, chances are, you’ve seen numbers appearing in the posts and bios of some of your favorite influencers or maybe also a number and then ‘w’ and another number? This is the influencer’s Enneagram sign and a calling card for self-love and awareness. Meyer-Briggs was the dominant personality-typing technique in the past, but the Enneagram is quickly becoming a popular self-discovery tool.
Surprisingly, the Enneagram isn’t exactly anything new—it actually has ancient roots, with some arguing that it can be traced back to the geometry of Pythagorean mathematics. Easily proving age ain’t nothing but a number, its popularity today rests on several things: the simplicity of its format (it is made up of nine types, each with different aspects of personality), behaviors, fears, and desires.
“The Enneagram is a personality typing tool that breaks down the patterns of human behavior into nine distinct types. Each type has a particular motivation, basic fears, health levels, and so on. It’s particularly helpful in showing us our blind spots and coping mechanisms,” explained Sarajane Case of Enneagram and Coffee. “I think we’re seeing our culture through a kind of revolution—a desire for more self-awareness and inclusion. The Enneagram is a great way for us to create dynamic and open relationships with ourselves and others.”
And why it’s gained popularity is because once you dig into it, it goes way deeper than just a personality test. “It’s a personalized roadmap for self-growth, relational health, and more,” shared Laura Miltenberger and Jennifer Andrew of XO, Enneagram. “There’s a lot of hope in the Enneagram because it’s all about the freedom to change and grow. It’s not about labels. Instead of just speaking to who you are right now, the Enneagram teaches you about who you have the potential to be.”
But it doesn’t stop with learning your type. This is only the beginning of your Enneagram journey. There are many ways that the Enneagram can help improve your thinking, behaviors, relationships, and reflect on them. To help you get started, we’ve broken it down into nine things to know about the Enneagram or—if you’re already an Enneagrammer—some new ideas from true Enneagram experts.
Everyone’s Enneagram Journey Is Different
There are many reasons why people turn to the Enneagram. The Enneagram is a tool that helps us gain confidence and self-awareness.
“I first started working with the Enneagram as a way to better relate to my partner,” Case shared. “We found it initially helpful in understanding our differences. As time has gone on, I’ve worked with the Enneagram to bring more awareness to my own patterns of behavior and how I show up both positively and negatively in my life and the life of others.”
Andrew and Miltenberger were friends who worked on XO and Enneagram together. They both found their way into the Enneagram on very distinct paths. “I first began to use the Enneagram as a holistic health coach,” Miltenberger explained. “I was so impressed with its ability to help my clients find more self-awareness, tools for their relationships, and insight into their typical ways of coping with stress. But when I finally found my own number, I wasn’t just enlightened, I was moved. The Enneagram spoke to parts of myself that I’d forgotten about, important pieces of who I am and who I want to be.”
Andrew stated that it can be difficult at first. “It made me recognize some unhealthy patterns I had in my life. It also helped me put words to parts of myself that I’d never been able to describe, which made me feel seen and understood.”
The Types
“The Enneagram describes nine different types—nine different ways of seeing the world,” Miltenberger and Andrew explained. “Personality quizzes and assessments often deal with surface behaviors and traits, but the Enneagram speaks to deeper parts of who you are. It doesn’t just teach you about your strengths, it brings light to your shortcomings too. So when used mindfully, it has the power to set you on a path toward the healthiest and most whole version of yourself.”
The nine Types are often referred to by the following names. However, these names can vary slightly.
- The Perfectionist – The Rational, Idealistic Type: principled, purposeful, self-controlled, and perfectionistic.
- The Helper – The Caring, Interpersonal Type: demonstrative, generous, people-pleasing, and possessive.
- The Achiever – The Success-Oriented, Pragmatic Type: adaptive, excelling, driven, and image-conscious.
- The Individualist – The Sensitive, Withdrawn Type: expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed, and temperamental.
- The Investigator – The Intense, Cerebral Type: perceptive, innovative, secretive, and isolated.
- The Loyalist – The Committed, Security-Oriented Type: engaging, responsible, anxious, and suspicious.
- The Enthusiast – The Busy, Fun-Loving Type: spontaneous, versatile, distractible, and scattered.
- The Challenger – The Powerful, Dominating Type: self-confident, decisive, willful, and confrontational.
- The Peacemaker – The Easygoing, Self-Effacing Type: receptive, reassuring, agreeable, and complacent.
These descriptions—from The Enneagram Institute—are just a brief overview of the types. To really get into it and discover which type you may be, it’s important to read detailed descriptions of all of them, Case advised.
“Once you find your type, you’ll likely know. Reading the description of your type can feel a bit like reading your own journals back to yourself,” Case explained. “I know it’s tempting to take a test and get a quick answer or to rely on someone else to tell you your type. I challenge you to do your own research. You are so worth the exploration.”
But how do we know when we know?
This is a question many will spend a lot more time thinking about while on the Enneagram. And that’s totally normal. It’s super easy to believe you’re one type, then read about another that resonates and feel confused about which you could be. It’s also very easy to mistype too, as there are lots of similarities between them. “By reading more and by listening to the experience of others who have already discovered their type, you’ll begin to narrow down your dominant type,” Miltenberger and Andrew said. “Tests and quizzes can be fun, but don’t rely on your results, as they are frequently inaccurate. You’re the only one who can discover your type. It takes some introspection, some reading, and a willingness to look at yourself with honesty.”
It is not easy to see the negative aspects of each type, but it can help you to see your true type. “The truth is that we all can or would like to relate to the positive aspects of each type,” Case added. “It’s the difficult or trying elements that force us to get really honest. It can feel like we are being exposed when we see the lower-level behavior of our number. When you read a type and your cheeks get red and you want to hide under the table—that may be your number.”
Both XO, Enneagram and Enneagram and Coffee offer lots of resources on their Instagram accounts to help with this discovery process—even sharing fun memes and videos, which, while lighthearted, can actually further help the identification process and really help bring that lightbulb moment for you.
What are Wings?
Once you’ve found your type or, at least, the one you feel most resonates with you for now, you can explore the wings of that type and drill down into the type on a deeper level. Your Enneagram type’s numbers are adjacent to the wings. So, for example, a type 1 might have type 9 or 2 as its potential wings.
“They come into play as a way to balance out the personality patterns of our number. Both wings are available to us all, but we tend to lean towards one or the other for support. The ultimate goal is to balance out your wings to fully support your personality,” Case explained. “You’re the same type throughout your life, but your wing can actually shift and change as your life does. Your wing is what you bring in to complete your personality patterns. You may need something different for that at different stages of life.”
The wing can be a confirmation of our type and helps us to solidify it. For others, the descriptions of the wings could be incorrect and help us to reassess. But don’t stress about the wings—the most important thing on the Enneagram is to discover your type. It’s OK to remain undecided on your wing. Case has a podcast episode all about wings.
And what about subtypes?
Once you’re in the Enneagram zone, you can read on about subtypes or “instincts.” There are three of these, and typically, you’ll figure out one that is dominant for you. They are more instinctual and primal than the personality aspects of types and wings, but they are often the powerful subconscious driving force behind many life decisions. Your dominant one will relate to what is a priority for you—what you need to get what you want from this world and what area of life you usually attend to first.
“The three subtypes are One-On-One, Social, and Self-Preservation,” Miltenberger and Andrew explained. “Your dominant subtype describes the way you most instinctually interact with the world around you. It describes the things you are most likely to pay attention to and the first responses to. The One-on-one subtype focuses on individual relationships, while the Social subtype focuses on social structures and groups, and the Self Preservation subtype on perceived danger and needs. Bringing awareness to your subtype is a great opportunity to create more health and balance in your life.”
This provides another layer of insight into you and your life. It allows you to dig deeper into self-discovery and development.
You’ve Found Your Type—Now What?
Your journey doesn’t end with the identification of your type. This is where it all begins! Start. The Enneagram can help to validate, understand, and foster a greater sense self-compassion. It can also help you face your most challenging aspects. This is where things can get a little more challenging, but it can also be extremely rewarding.
Case suggested that the first step in dealing with it is to acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses and then create a support plan. “Celebrate your strengths and build a life that helps them shine. Open your eyes to your blind spots, noting your motivators and how you receive love, exploring your contribution to relationships, softening your path out of behavior patterns, and finally turning that into something beautiful and sharing it with the world.”
A good way to do this is to read a variety of websites, books, and Instagram accounts, and listen to podcasts—really get immersed in all the Enneagram resources out there. Many Enneagram experts recommend that you journal daily, even if it’s only for brief bursts of guided topics specific to your Enneagram type. This will allow you to keep track of your discoveries and thoughts. If you’re a list person, make lists of things you’re identifying and learning or what you want to achieve.
“There’s no wrong way to practice this,” Miltenberger and Andrew added. “Let the Enneagram teach you about yourself. Remember to approach these things with kindness and gentleness towards yourself. There is plenty of time to get where you want to go. You’re multifaceted—for every shadow in you, there’s a diamond, too. You might have growing pains now, but remember that you’re already strong. You might have room for growth, but you’re loved and acceptable already, just as you are.”
Lean In…
The Enneagram isn’t just beneficial to your self-acceptance; it radiates out and can be a useful tool in supporting you in the workplace, for your career progression and life goals, and in your relationships. “It’s a tool to allow you access to self-awareness that often takes people decades to figure out,” Case said. “The more aware we are of our own patterns and what we bring to our relationships, our job, and our habits, the more ease we can bring into them through owning our strengths and creating a support plan for our weaknesses.”
It can help you develop compassion and empathy for others. “Since the Enneagram helps you identify your stress patterns and coping mechanisms, it also illuminates which self-care practices will be most vital and impactful for you,” Miltenberger and Andrew pointed out. “And when it comes to relationships, the Enneagram helps you understand where other people are coming from and how to interact with them most effectively. With your work, the Enneagram is amazing for identifying your innate strengths and values, which leads to better career choices and fulfillment.”
It’s also valuable information to bring into therapy sessions to help a partner or others generally understand you better. “More than anything, the Enneagram is a great tool for language,” Case added. “It gives us a way to express what we’re going through, why we’re going through it, and what we may need.”
What If You’re Not Happy With Your Type?
OK, so let’s admit it: On face value, some of the types sound a little more appealing than others. The Enneagram is all about equality, in all its egalitarian wisdom. There is no best or worst—all the types have their strengths and blind spots, and all are on the path to self-awareness.
“If you feel unhappy with your type, it probably means you’ve discovered something that your personality has been holding you back from, so there’s a little grieving that comes with that,” Miltenberger and Andrew shared. “We all have different ways of getting in our own way. Awareness is the first step to any kind of growth or change. You can see this new awareness as a chance to find more balance in life. You’re brave for wanting to look at yourself with honesty and wanting to grow, but be gentle with yourself in the process.”
To Test or Not to Test?
Many experts recommend against doing a test to determine your type—usually because there are so many that can offer inaccurate or misleading results for many of us, and identifying our type or feeling confident we’ve picked the “right” one for us are legit concerns. It is possible to misspell things. At this point, it’s probably worth taking a test to reinforce your type or help you see something you might have missed. There’s one test that Case recommends as having one of the best records on accuracy—this can be found at Integrative9.com and is worth a go for us type-TBDs.
There are also lots of books, podcasts, inspiring IG accounts, and other ways to keep learning about the Enneagram. Tune into Case’s fab podcast Enneagram and Coffee to learn more about her and her wonderful insights.
XO, Enneagram has a great site full of resources and its Instagram account offers ideas, prompts, self-care challenges, journaling practices, and a direct line to quiz them on all your Enneagram questions. They also recommend reading. The Road Back to You, The Wisdom of the Enneagram, The Path Between Us, The Sacred Enneagram, The Complete Enneagram.
Oh, and in case you’re wondering by now, this article was written by a 9 wing 1 who took a few gos at finding her type, but once she did, well, it was a real revelation.
Source: The Every Girl