After a night of searching Netflix for something new, I came across this. Sex, Love & goop. I hadn’t heard of it, but the description caught my eye: Gwyneth Paltrow’s reality series helps courageous couples find more pleasure in sex and deeper intimacy. Because I promised myself I’d watch something out-of-the-box rather than binge-watching another season of The Vampire Diaries, I figured this voyage wouldn’t cause any harm. Little did I know, pressing play was an awakening I didn’t know I was due for.
In collaboration with Gwyneth Paltrow’s media company goop.comNetflix created a reality TV show that featured couples from different ages and sexualities, navigating the bumps in their sexual chemistry, emotional issues, or childhood traumas. It seems so normal, right. My friend and you were both there. Very wrong.
The show opens with Paltrow happily relaying, “we’re having sex, it’s a show about sex, and we’re gonna talk about sex.” You can immediately see the embarrassment and discomfort from many of the couples as they dive into what most of them have always thought of as taboo. Next, we meet Damon & Erika.
This couple stood out to me because, unlike many couples, their sexual desires and needs were very different. While Erika felt that she was extremely sensual and needed to find the right moment for sex, she was constantly met and unsatisfied with Damon’s “I’m horny, aren’t you?” when sex was so far from her mind. They meet Miss Jaiya who is a somatic sexologist, author of many books, and a skilled sexologist. She explains the erotic blueprint, tries out different pleasures, and even helps Damon who thought he was just a sexual blueprint.
It was more inspiring than I could’ve ever imagined. I was desperate to have my own tears-shedding orgasm so I took the $17, in-depth quiz. The website also offers a basic version for free.
First, let’s talk about the different erotic blueprints. These categories can help you unlock your sexual superpowers. They are based on how you prefer to be treated. It’s also ideal for understanding how to break sexual incompatibility with your partner and reach the perfect middle ground for mind-blowing orgasms on both ends.
The Erotic Blueprints
1. Sensual
This blueprint is all geared towards engaging the senses. In their everyday lives, they’re probably really big on filling their space with textures, listening to music they “feel,” and surrounding themselves with beautiful scenery. They will likely love massages, essential oils, and a lingering touch during sex.
The really cool thing about sensual blueprints is that they can have full-body orgasms beyond their partner’s touch. They can have a beautiful sunset or well-prepared food.
2. Sexual
The sexual blueprint is described by Jaiya as “what we think of as sex in our culture.” These beings are turned on by porn, naked bodies, genitals, etc. This group is often considered to be the easiest to please and has less shame about having sex than other groups.
Because their view of sex is so focused on what society portrays as “normal,” they may be likely to think anything that doesn’t involve intercourse or penetration isn’t sex at all.
3. Energetic
These types are known for their ability to orgasm without touching. Crazy, right? They may feel more with less, so yoga and meditation might be their first choice. Many people feel the need to feel longing, eye-gazing or hovering touch.
It’s important to keep an open line of communication with energetic blueprints because they can get overwhelmed easily with stimulation or underwhelmed by a lack of presence from their partner.
4. Kinky
We’ve all heard the term kinky, but do you actually know what it means? The types are turned on by creativity and exploration; they’re aroused by the taboo. Oftentimes, these types can feel a sense of shame or repression in regard to their sexual desires because they may not view themselves as “normal.”
This type, along with the Shapeshifter, is the most popular of all the types. They may like to switch between submissive and dominant roles, spanking, and introducing bondage toys.
5. Shapeshifter
This highly sophisticated and erotically intelligent blueprint can bounce between different types depending on different partners, or experience multiple blueprints at once. Referred to as the “whole
smorgasbord” by Jaiya, this type is known to be an empathic lover, since they are able to adjust and feel all of the blueprints.
This type is known for their love of discovery and may enjoy layering different types, using different toys, as well as trying new trends in sex to continually improve their knowledge.
My Results
To my surprise, I’m A Shapeshifter. Because of the sheer amount of sense it made, I sat in awe for a moment. I cannot remember a time in my life when I felt sensual or kinky. But I know there were times when these blueprints were so powerful for me that it was easy to assume I was either one or both. Jaiya provided a video and a report downloadable immediately after the quiz. She explained more about the results of blueprints similar to mine. One line in the speech made me 100% certain that the quiz was correct.
“You’ve probably been told that you’re too much, so somewhere in there, you shrink.”
I knew that she had done something special. Her elaboration on how as shapeshifters, it’s easy to become a people-pleaser who molds themselves into what other people need or want (guilty as charged), which had become a personality trait for me. Who would’ve thought it would also become a major aspect of my sex life?
What happens when shapeshifters abandon their love of variety is a term she coined, known as “one-note” sex: short sexual encounters that get boring and unfulfilling rather quickly. But, by tapping into the sense of variety that comes naturally to shapeshifters, it’s possible to become the “horn section, flute section, the drums, and the opera singer all at once in a four-hour piece.”
By reframing the idea of feeling like you’re “too much,” she urges all shapeshifters to ask what’s possible instead. So in every aspect of my life, I’ve been learning to love and accept that I am erotically sophisticated and that it shows up even when I least expect it. Besides being a major turning point for the way I view myself as a sexual being, this mindset has been amazingly effective in letting my orchestra “light up and be played exquisitely” in all aspects of my life.
Final Thoughts
I believe everyone should take this quiz. What’s to lose? Knowing your erotic blueprint, and your partner’s, is an amazing way to have next-level sex and connect on a new level. If you’re riding solo, it’s life-altering information that’ll assist in communicating and connecting with yourself. If you’re a fan of Sex, Love & goop, you’ve seen the impact (and overall shift) that extra line of knowledge can have on relationships.
This quiz is also a great tool for healing. For many of us, we’ve learned to feel sexual shame in ways that have manifested into our everyday lives. Kinky types may have felt isolated in their fantasies while sensuals might try to ignore their love for things that may not constitute as “sex.” Learning your erotic blueprint is seriously the first step in learning the language your body has always spoken and the start to fulfilling everything you’ve always wanted in a sexual and non-sexual way.
Source: The Every Girl
