If you have taken a scroll on any social media platform lately, you’d know that HBO’s teen drama EuphoriaThe new season of the show took the world by storm. While I could go on and on about how the show captures the growing pains and struggles of adolescence, and the way the world feels at that time, I am particularly passionate about the way the show portrays romantic relationships and how it seamlessly portrays the good and the bad when it comes to love.
My high school experience was not dressed up in glitter and sporting lingerie in the school hallways, to say the least, but I can definitely relate to the feeling of having a crush or a relationship being at the center of my world—or at least feeling like it should be. No Taylor Swift song could prepare me for the heartbreaks and red flags that I experienced in high school, especially when I was 16. It is safe to say I am emotionally attached to the characters in this series, and I spend half the time wanting to tell them “it gets better, I swear!” and to “stay away from Nate; he’s isn’t a good guy!”
Nate Jacobs: If you want to see, watch Euphoria, I’m sure you know what I am about to say. For those of you who haven’t watched the show yet or don’t plan to, think of the most toxic character you’ve ever watched on TV and multiply that by 100. Nate Jacobs is even worse. Jacob Elordi portrays the supervillain high school football player Nate Jacobs. His inner demons can be seen in every move he makes. He manipulates and controls everyone who gets involved with his actions (but more on this later).
Watching Nate move through life is both uncomfortable and infuriating to watch, and if you found “red flag” in the dictionary, I am certain there would be a giant photo of him in the middle of the page. Some of the characters on this show are blind to the fact that there is something about him. We could learn a lot about Nate Jacobs, even though it pains me to admit it. I have learned clear signs to watch out for in my relationship if it isn’t moving in the right direction from Nate Jacobs’ toxic relationships. If you’ve found yourself completely oblivious to these signs and therefore stuck in toxic flings, here is what you should keep in mind based on what I’ve gathered from watching Euphoria.
Fair warning: You should not have slept at night. EuphoriaWe have spoilers ahead of us!
Hurt people hurt people
When it comes to how Nate has proved to be TV’s worst boyfriend in the world, the list goes on and on. Rue, played by Zendaya, narrates the series and shares in season 1, episode 2 that “Nate loves the feeling of winning. He was obsessive.” Because Euphoria reveals the lives of multiple characters, we’re able to see that Nate’s high school persona—the gorgeous, rich, popular athlete that everyone worships—is not directly reflected in his home life. Nate often displays a violent and controlling manner that we can directly link to his upbringing, particularly stemming from his father Cal, who we find out through Rue’s narration has an extensive collection of sex tapes he has filmed with men and transgender women that Nate found when he was 11 years old.
He develops a distorted perception of sex and a controlling, often violent and obsessive manner of behaving from an early age. It is clear when you’re watching Euphoria that his father’s influence on him in addition to the masculine persona he feels pressured to maintain amongst his peers has proven to be an inner battle as he navigates his sexuality and who he really is.
Cut to: Nate’s relationship with Maddy Perez. It’s obvious that he treats Maddy inexcusably. I, for one, have never been in a toxic relationship. Watching their journey on the show always makes me wonder: Why would someone treat another person this way? Watching Nate and Maddy’s interactions is quite intense. Their love for one another is wrapped up in a distorted view of what love is. Both are clearly attracted to one another physically and sexually. However, their relationship is based on a high school relationship that ends in discord and jealousy. What’s not so typical of this relationship is Nate acting out violently when he feels he is not able to control Maddy.
Seeing that, as the viewer, we’re able to make sense of their relationship through different perspectives, I can infer that Nate is only able to make Maddy feel as good as he feels about himself. Personally, I have never seen Nate Jacobs more angry or tortured than when I watched him on this show. It is no surprise that he has nothing but anger to offer their relationship. So to answer the question “Why would someone treat someone else this way?”, the best thing explanation is that the way someone treats you is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves.
It’s them, not you
We’ve all heard the saying “it takes two to tango,” and while that is absolutely true, specifically when it comes to a relationship, no one should feel like they deserve a toxic relationship or that they can’t get out of one. Maddy is definitely a flawed character, and she also plays a part in Nate’s behavior. But, I knew that Nate was not going to learn how to love women and control them. I saw him physically assault Maddy in season 1 episode 4.
His dynamic with Maddy is not the only area we see this play out—we also see it in his connection to Jules, another one of his schoolmates. When Nate finds out that Jules is one of his father’s conquests from his hidden tapes, he sets out to manipulate the situation to, once again, come out on top, threatening to report her photos sent to his father as child pornography if the secret came out.
Nate has repeatedly shown his peers who he really is, becoming more violent and insufferable with each episode. So long as this show airs, I don’t have much hope that Nate will be able to unlearn his misogynistic ways, and so long as Maddy continues to try and win Nate back, I don’t anticipate him changing his ways for her nor to better himself. This serves as a great reminder that no one should have to earn being treated right, and if you ever have moments where you ask yourself “why me?” or “why am I not ___ enough?”, flip the narrative and tell yourself that you Are enough. If you are compromising your character to be with someone, then it’s time to rethink the space they hold in your life.
If you are lying or hiding things from your loved ones, it’s time to reevaluate
Maddy’s life is highlighted in season 1, episode 5, beginning with her trying to cover up the bruises left on her neck from Nate assaulting her. Despite her attempts to pretend that nothing happened, school officials discover the truth, prompting her mother to open a police investigation. Maddy also denies Nate’s accusations of hurting Maddy. Maddy sees it through the eyes of Nate. She believes she is in deep love with Nate. Telling the truth about what happened would end her relationship with him.
Moderation is key to all things in life. A romantic relationship should not take up too much of your life. If you find that you are having to delay, make less time for other things or hide parts of your love life in order to make it work it is time to evaluate the value and longevity of your relationship.
Final Thoughts
While I may be emotionally invested in every TV show I watch, it is not the norm. EuphoriaThis powerful perspective is important when it comes to the company we keep. Nate’s relationship with Maddy has certainly shown me what love is Not. Despite Maddy confessing to her mother, “the one thing I know is that Nate loves me no matter what. He’d f*cking kill for me, and I’d kill for him,” It is unlikely that a relationship that feels like they need to save everything will be of any benefit in the long term.
The realistic situations and storylines that the characters are faced in Euphoria feel all too real despite it being a series centered on high school, and I think we can all place ourselves in a moment of time where we couldn’t recognize signs that a relationship we were involved in really did not serve us well. With season two under way, I have a feeling we have just scratched the surface of Nate’s antics. It can be difficult to live with someone toxic, especially when there is so much potential for the relationship to be great. However, the best way is to believe the person when they are who they really are.
Source: The Every Girl
