TBQH, I don’t know if I’ve ever liked any of my closest friends’ partners at first glance. It’s hard to believe anyone out there could be good enough for them. My walls go up, and I force them to pass a lot more tests before they are accepted into my good graces. But what happens when those tests don’t get passed, and I’m stuck hating my best friend’s new partner? SOS.
Don’t panic. There are ways to get over this slump in your friendship, and if those don’t work, we have even more solutions for you.
If you don’t want to lose your friend over a sh*tty partner (we’ve all been there), here’s what to do:
1. Figure out what you don’t like about them
Sometimes, you hate someone simply because they aren’t like you. Maybe their essence is just off when you’re around or you can’t seem to figure out what makes them so special to your very special BFF. You might not agree with their political views. All of these, I hate to say, aren’t viable reasons to hate someone. Yeah, it’s normal to not jive with every single person you meet, but you can easily not click with your friend’s partner and not dislike them for no reason.
On the other hand, there are many reasons it makes sense that you wouldn’t like them from the get-go. Are they always on time? Do they make it difficult to get along with them? Do they disrespect boundaries? Are they rude to your friend or you? Do they seem like they’re love-bombing or gaslighting your BFF? Keep reading if you have a reason to dislike them. If you don’t, form a friendship with them and see where it takes you before you start to hate them.
2. Your BFF can help you communicate your concerns
Your BFF won’t know why you’re acting so weird around them if you don’t tell them why. If you’re at a point where you’re feeling really uncomfortable with the situation, it’s probably time to bring it up one-on-one.
But make sure that you’re doing this in a delicate way. It would be very difficult and uncomfortable to discover that your dreamy partner is not as ideal for you. Make sure to remind them that you care about them and are just looking out for their sake, but you trust that they know what they’re doing and trust their judgment.
3. Find common ground
Finding something you can talk about is the best way to get someone to your side. Maybe you both like the same music and can bond over who puts a playlist on the aux. Perhaps you were both in college and enjoyed horror movies. You never know what hobbies or interests you share with someone until you start chatting with them, so when you’re given the opportunity to get to know this new person in your friend group, take it and see where it leads.
4. Let it go
You can’t control your friend, and they have to make their own choices about who to date and spend their time with, just as you do. If you’ve done everything you can to get to know them and still don’t like them, it might be time to just let it go and accept that your friend is happy in a new relationship that you just might not agree with.
So, you hate your best friend’s partner. You’ve told them how you feel, and they’re sticking in the relationship. Here’s what you do now:
1. Spend time with your BFF alone
Especially if you’re also partnered, it can be easy to make everything a couple activity. Make it a point to spend time with your friend alone at times. It’ll take you back to the roots of your friendship and remind you that there’s more to talk about than their sh*tty partner you hate.
And if your friend pulls the, “Oh, actually, can ____ come?,” put up a boundary and say no.
2. Never go the “I told you so” route
Your friend might decide you were right, and seeks advice on how to end their relationship or deal with it. When that happens, don’t snicker and say, “I told you so.” Be there for your friend and give them advice like you would in any other scenario.
3. Only bring them up if a friend does.
You never want to sit around sh*t talking your best friend’s partner all day, but I’ve also been there when you’re together, and it’s awkward when you bring them up. Instead, avoid talking about them and their relationship with your friend unless they bring it up.
Of course, you want to make it known that they can talk to you about anything, but protect yourself if you know that bringing up your friend’s partner all the time will get on your nerves.
Source: The Every Girl
