Age is just a number: Tan Kheng Hua is living her best life at 59

It’s like a horse gave beginning to a deer!” jokes Tan Kheng Hua as she friends on the laptop computer the place s of her daughter, Lim Shi-An, ethereal and enigmatic in a dusky pink Prada gown, are flashing throughout the display throughout our photoshoot for this story.

As Shi-An – her daughter with ex-husband, actor Lim Yu-Beng – poses along with her head turned ever so barely in the direction of the digicam, Kheng Hua beams with pleasure. The petite and slender 59-year-old exclaims with infectious enthusiasm: “She appears to be like like an elf! We’re a household of elves, versus orcs, people, dwarfs or hobbits.”

It’s been over 24 years for the reason that mother-and-daughter duo appeared collectively within the pages of Her World. Talking animatedly with us on set in an ethereal studio tucked away in Geylang, Kheng Hua remembers an article that she wrote for the journal again then, which featured an accompanying unfold of each her and Shi-An.

“We shot these stunning images of me and Shi-An as somewhat child. I used to be sporting this beautiful robe, and I used to be holding this child, after which she peed on the set as a result of we needed to take off her diaper!” she laughs, her eyes twinkling with mirth.

“I additionally do not forget that as I used to be writing that article, I cried, as a result of you understand how you get entangled along with your feelings.”

To at the present time, the veteran actress and producer, knocwn for her roles in Loopy Wealthy Asians and Singapore’s longest operating hit sitcom Phua Chu Kang, bares her emotions with poignant prose on her Instagram account (@khenghua), with posts that commemorate the particular recollections she shares with Shi-An, who’s 24 this yr.

Kheng Hua chuckles affectionately and expresses a slight trace of disbelief as she relates an anecdote about Shi-An, whom she says enjoys the corporate of her dad and mom. “Yu-Beng and I have been at all times saying, our daughter, she likes hanging out with us. That’s nice!”

She continues: “The opposite day, he and I stated, ‘Goodbye Shi-An, we’re going for a stroll.’ [She asks] can I come? I’ll rollerblade very quick in entrance of you so you may have your chit-chat. We stated, ‘Yeah, certain’. When she was rollerblading, we have been like, not less than she likes us there. And he or she makes it a degree to journey [overseas] to see me.”

Yu-beng and I have been at all times saying, our daughter, she likes hanging out with us. That’s nice!

Uninhibited and unstoppable

Kheng Hua travels wherever her work takes her and is at the moment filming in Vancouver as a part of the primary forged of American TV sequence Kung Fu. On this remake of the 1972 motion manufacturing – which has just lately been renewed for a 3rd season – she performs Mei-Li Shen, the estranged mom of lead character Nicky Shen, a university drop-out who makes use of her martial arts expertise to guard her group in San Francisco.

Though she portrays a strict disciplinarian within the present, Kheng Hua usually has impromptu get-togethers with the youthful forged members off-set, who name her Mama Kheng.

“I like hanging out with younger individuals. Whenever you take a look at my Kung-Fu forged in Vancouver, we’re like a tiny little bubble household. We’re away from our personal households for eight months in a yr; we solely have one another. It’s no holds barred – a number of occasions I’ll inform them no matter, and so they’ll inform me no matter… They love to return to my home and sit down. I really feel that it’s very very similar to me and Shi-An, however after all, we’re terribly shut,” she shares.

Nonetheless, whereas Kheng Hua enjoys spending time along with her reel-life household exterior of labor, there’s a decorum that each she and her co-star Hong Kong-American actor, Tzi Ma, count on from the youthful actors on set.

“The older individuals, myself and Tzi Ma, we sort of set the tone: Don’t be late; know your strains. If we didn’t have the ‘older guards’ there, then possibly they’d be a bit extra lax,” says Kheng Hua.

She describes the dynamics between each older and youthful forged members as “an intense exploration of younger individuals and older individuals”, the place there’s a very “pure” alternate of data. One instance concerned Kheng Hua having to navigate gifs, memes and stickers for the sequence’ social media push.

“Oh my god – earlier than each episode, advertising and marketing will ship us this Dropbox hyperlink, and it’s referred to as Social Media Belongings. [I’m like] youngsters, how do you do that? How will we open… They have been excellent, they have been instantly like, Mama Kheng, press this, press that… Not too long ago, they shared stickers. I’ve a sticker of myself, you already know? And I’m like, what am I going to do with a bloody sticker? But it surely’s very cute,” she laughs.

Kheng Hua is extra amused than pissed off by these instruments of engagement. The truth is, she approaches the ever-changing media panorama with an open thoughts. “Don’t struggle it,” she says of the recognition of Tiktok and the fast-developing Metaverse.

“I don’t submit on Tiktok, however I like the gardening ones, the farm ones, the where-to-eat ones. I’m not very into the humorous ones, however the dancing ones are at all times attention-grabbing.”

With regards to Metaverse, she provides: “I feel I’m fairly rooted in actuality. My joys come from one thing nearer to the bottom. I wish to odor and contact issues. I do suppose that I’m very tactile, and really sensual. I’ve emotional responses. Not too long ago in Canada, I used to be dropped at a really stunning view and I actually yelped. I actually, organically, let loose a sound. That’s one thing that I feel Singaporeans sadly don’t have sufficient entry to. A easy sense and second of absolute awe. A.W.E.”

Kheng Hua is deep in contemplation as she continues her reflections on the influence of social media.

“I do suppose the accessibility of cameras has given our existence the sort of sheen of self-consciousness. At my age, certainly one of my best pleasures and joys is just not being very self-conscious. I’m not very self-conscious once I’m appearing, or about my resume, or what individuals take into consideration my work anymore. I really feel a way of peace on the subject of my work, in addition to in my relationships. And a number of it comes from the truth that I don’t must make a public announcement about something.

“I feel I’ve grown into it. I have to say, at 59, if I used to be any much less at peace with the world and with myself – I’m not saying that I’m 100 per cent, I don’t suppose anybody is – it might be arduous. I’m an enormous proponent of intimacy. Since you actually get a way of the depth and energy of existence while you discover an intimacy that may work with your loved ones, your self, and along with your accomplice. That, I feel I’ve at all times had,” she says.

You actually get a way of the depth and energy of existence while you discover an intimacy that may work.

On her personal phrases

Regardless of the inevitable digitalisation of on a regular basis life, Kheng Hua nonetheless enjoys a easy morning routine of strolling to the closest comfort retailer from her dwelling, shopping for a hard-copy of the newspaper, after which making a cease on the kopitiam.

“I order one Kopi-O to have there, and one Kopi-C to carry again. You don’t need to work on everyone’s phrases; you simply need to work by yourself phrases. However you should simply settle for. Dwelling life by yourself phrases is de facto not as scary as you suppose it’s.

“Issues will not be scary for me just because I really feel privileged to have been born in 1963. From then till now, you’d have run the gamut of many alternative main shifts on the earth. You’d have seen the emergence of know-how,” she muses.

Kheng Hua lights up as she tells us how a stint at Occasions Periodicals as a young person was her first “severe part-time job” earlier than college within the US. Talking with renewed gusto, she says: “I used to be so courageous, I walked into Occasions – Go Journal, Her World – on the time Pat Chan was the editor, or was it Betty Khoo? All of them have been there – [fashion journalists] John de Souza, Tom Rao. I simply walked in, this child who had simply completed A-levels and I’m like, I simply need a part-time job… and I stated, I’ll do something! I began out bringing espresso and operating errands, and after that, I began writing. All kinds of stuff. Tennis tournaments, all these self-help subjects.

“A few occasions, they even made me do easy modelling to accompany a characteristic article – they’d simply want an nameless particular person strolling down the street. I had a lot enjoyable and as an 18 year-old, I’d go into the workplace, and they’d be speaking about all their younger grownup life with no censorship in entrance
of me.

“It’s a type of issues about residing life by yourself phrases. You’re on this, you might be younger, and also you don’t take into consideration, oh, is it going to fail? Is it going to work? There’s a lot much less at stake. You do it as a result of it’s sort of enjoyable.”

Oh, the locations you’ll go!

The Indiana College alum, who majored in Public & Environmental Affairs, caught the appearing bug when she took a theatre elective in college. Upon returning to Singapore within the mid ’80s, Kheng Hua labored in public relations, advertising and marketing and public affairs for native retailer FJ Benjamin and afterwards, CK Tang Ltd the place she additionally conceptualised and edited the in-store style publication Tangs Studio Quarterly.

Then in her 20s, she pored over magazines like British Vogue, Vainness Honest, Interview, and even Home and Backyard for analysis and inspiration.

“Italian Vogue was the epitome of actually fashion-forward stuff. These have been the times of the rock stars of style, like famend photographers Steven Meisel and Patrick Demarchelier – we might research them, you already know? [Home-grown photographer] Mark Regulation, when he was this younger man, walked into our workplace together with his portfolio, simply recent from the UK. It was wonderful,” she remembers.

All this whereas, the budding performer break up her time between her company day job and theatre gigs after work. Her first stage play was The Ready Room by John Bowen (1987), which was produced by her cousin, famed actor and theatre director Ivan Heng. Kheng Hua determined to strive appearing full-time within the mid ’90s after greater than 10 years within the company world. She has, over time, garnered quite a few awards and accolades for her roles in movie, theatre and TV productions.

Her foray into Singapore’s theatre scene, then flourishing with visionary practitioners like Stella Kon, Ong Keng Sen and Michael Chiang, noticed her working with like-minded contemporaries who have been as passionate and fearless about their craft.

“The whole lot was in our arms. Each dream that we had; we didn’t put them in another person’s arms. We stated to ourselves, ‘I need to expertise appearing’. We didn’t have anyone to ask… think about we have been simply on our personal. We didn’t have laptops. And no telephones! Considered one of my first auditions once I got here again to Singapore was revealed in The Straits Occasions by TheatreWorks. I used to be working at Tangs on the time, possibly 35 years in the past.

It stated, ‘native musical in search of actors’, and I remembered that I went to the Drama Centre [for the audition]. The names that have been there are names which are nonetheless working on this business immediately.

“Ong Keng Sen was within the actors’ room, to audition the appearing a part of you. Dick Lee was within the different room, to audition the singing a part of you. Najib Ali was within the one other room, auditioning the dancing a part of you. And Michael Chiang was strolling round, excited, trying on the younger individuals coming in. Identical individuals. Why? Like me, they’ve nonetheless acquired it. And it was of their arms. Did any of them ever go to West Finish to see what an audition was like? No,” she says.

All through the interview, Kheng Hua reiterates that one ought to chart their very own path. She is each open and plain-spoken, usually providing unconventional analogies to make a degree.

“I’ve likened it to giving beginning with out epidural, which I did. If you happen to can really feel the ache – I’m simply utilizing this as a metaphor – you already know what the enjoyment is, and in addition what to keep away from. And you understand how to handle your ache. One of the crucial essential issues that I’ve learn comes from an old style child e-book, and a lot of my life philosophy comes from parenting: The very first thing it’s worthwhile to train your baby is learn how to consolation themselves, by themselves.

“I really feel a number of these strategies assist you to to maintain near the bottom, near your self, which in the end is the key to protecting younger, curious and . As a result of you understand how to consolation and handle your ache by your self. And also you develop into resilient and resourceful. After all, many occasions you’re taking a threat. It’s a must to determine if it’s well worth the threat and simply go for it. And for those who don’t go for it, it’s nice. Simply be comfy with your self,” she says.

Dwelling life by yourself phrases is de facto not as scary as you suppose it’s.

Coming of age

Kheng Hua jokes about being a “delinquent dad or mum” to Shi-An, however what she actually does is give her daughter loads of room and house to develop into her personal particular person.

“We undergo many alternative phases and adjustments in our lives, and also you don’t need to be at all times on the similar timing. As a result of typically, you must be thoughtful that you’re on this web page proper now, however your child or your mum might take somewhat little bit of time. However kind of, you chart the place everyone is, versus not caring or not being conscious about it. These are people who find themselves affected by your life, so it’s best to attempt to navigate that,” she explains.

By now, lunch has arrived and Shi-An joins our desk. As each mom and daughter share a meal of inexperienced rooster curry, their bond is palpable from the convenience that they’ve with one another. At one level, Kheng Hua turns to Shi-An and asks: “It’s arduous to be a 20something in Singapore, what do you suppose?”

“No lah, it is dependent upon your perspective,” says Shi-An.

Shi-An evokes her along with her goodness, shares Kheng Hua, her eyes welling up with tears. “I get emotional as a result of she’s woman. Don’t underestimate that easy sentence. She makes her choices in the direction of the sunshine. My parenting has a light-weight contact. It’s a distinct kind of mild – it has you already know, an extended leash. I can not categorical the kind of intimate feeling you’ve while you watch a grown-up baby, and she or he’s particular person. She would by no means harm anybody.”

Kheng Hua pauses, then shares: “I feel it’s simpler to be my age now, however it’s solely as a result of I’ve had all these rites of passage. If I didn’t have her, and I’m 59 years outdated and travelling in Canada, I’d be very depressed, you already know? However due to her, I look ahead to so many issues.”

I feel it’s simpler to be my age now, however solely as a result of I’ve had all these rites of passage.

Her favorite factor to do with Shi-An? Completely nothing in any respect. Simply having fun with one another’s presence is
merely sufficient.

“I do know the factor she misses probably the most once I’m not round is coming down, and seeing me cleansing the desk or on my laptop. It’s kind of like having one other motion round the home, a motion that’s peaceable and calm, like a pet. And I definitely miss that about her,” says Kheng Hua.

She now appears to be like ahead to seeing the brand new adventures that Shi-An, who has just lately graduated from college, will uncover as a younger grownup who’s simply embarking on her very personal journey – simply as Kheng Hua did all these years in the past.

“At this level in our lives, now that she’s transferring into maturity with actual grownup issues, I’m having fun with and claiming somewhat little bit of my very own time. All the best way till she graduated, I feel there was a big a part of me that felt like a mum. This whole yr, she’s made her personal choices of what she desires to do. I’m having fun with taking myself out of the equation.

“And it’s somewhat bit humorous about claiming a little bit of my very own life. It’s not as straightforward as you suppose it’s. As a result of there’s something very addictive to be wanted. It’s not a foul habit and also you don’t need to let it’s one, however there’s something great and anchoring about being wanted. And when your baby is de facto on her personal, you may see that with or with out you, she’s going to be okay. It’s a distinct section,” she says.

PHOTOGRAPHY Brendan Zhang, assisted by Ryan Loh
CREATIVE DIRECTION Windy Aulia & Elizabeth Lee
HAIR Colin Yeo & Doreen Low / Tress & Curvy, utilizing Wella
MAKEUP Crimson Ngoh