‘I Want to Reset My Brain’: Female Veterans Turn to Psychedelic Therapy

TIJUANA, Mexico — Plumes of incense swirled through the dimly lit living room as seven women took turns explaining what drove them to sign up for a weekend of psychedelic therapy at a villa in northern Mexico with sweeping ocean views.

A former U.S. Marine claimed she wanted to connect with her mother’s spirit, who died 11 years ago. An Army veteran claims she was sexually abused by a relative when she was a child. A handful of veterans claim that they have been sexually assaulted in the past by fellow service personnel.

The wife of a Navy bomb removal expert choked up as her husband became a dysfunctional father.

Kristine Bostwick (38), a former Navy Corpsman, stated that she hoped that her mind would be able to go through mind-altering ceremonies that would help her deal with a difficult marriage. It might also help with migraines that were becoming a daily affliction.

“I want to reset my brain from the bottom up,” she said during the introductory session of a recent three-day retreat, wiping away tears. “My kids deserve it. I deserve it.”

Some psychiatrists and venture capitalists are excited about the growing body of research on the therapeutic benefits of psychoedelic therapy.

Much of the expanding appeal of such treatments has been driven by veterans of America’s wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. Many ex-military personnel have become vocal advocates for psychedelics. They have turned to experimental therapies to treat traumatic brain injuries, post-traumatic stress disorder, addiction, and depression.

Participants in psychedelic retreats often pay thousands of dollars. The Heroic Hearts Project, and the Hope Project provided free access to these women veterans and spouses of vets who had traveled from the US to Mexico for treatment at Mission Within. The groups were started by an Army ranger, and the wife of a Navy Seal, to raise money to make psychedelic treatment affordable for people with military backgrounds.

The Mission Within, on the outskirts of Tijuana, is run by Dr. Martín Polanco, who since 2017 has focused almost exclusively on treating veterans.

“I became aware early on that if we focused our work on veterans, we would have a greater impact,” said Dr. Polanco, who said he had treated more than 600 American veterans in Mexico. “They understand what it takes to achieve peak performance.”

He said that he initially only treated male veterans. He started to receive many requests from women veterans and military wives recently and started running retreats for women only.

Psychedelic therapy, except for clinical trials, is currently performed underground or with ambiguous legality. A handful of Latin American countries, including Mexico, Jamaica, and Costa Rica, have emerged as hubs for clinical research and experimental protocols.

Dr. Polanco is not licensed in the United States. However, his work is now being sought after by more experienced specialists in mental health. Baylor College of Medicine and the University of Texas at Austin will be studying his protocols in two clinical trials later this year.

Randal Noller, a spokeswoman for the Veterans Affairs Department, said that the use of psychedelic drugs is not part of the standard care for mental health conditions at Veterans Hospitals. They could, however, be administered with special approval as part of a research protocol, and the department’s Office of Mental Health and Suicide Prevention is “closely monitoring the developing scientific literature in this area,” Mr. Noller said.

In Mexico, two of the substances that Dr. Polanco administers — ibogaine, a plant-based psychoactive commonly used to treat addiction, and 5-MeO-DMT, a powerful hallucinogen derived from the poison of the Sonoran desert toad — are neither unlawful nor approved for medical use. The third, psilocybin mushroom, may be legally taken in ceremonies following Indigenous traditions.

During the course of a weekend retreat, Dr. Polanco’s patients start with a ceremony using either ibogaine or psilocybin. The purpose of the initial trip is to provoke disruptive thinking and deep introspection.

“You become your own therapist,” Dr. Polanco said.

Participants will smoke 5-MeO–DMT on Sunday. This is often described as a mystical or near-death experience.

Charles Nemeroff, chairman of the University of Texas at Austin department of psychology and behavioral sciences, stated that the hype around psychedelics’ curative properties has outpaced hard evidence. The risks — which include episodes of psychosis — are considerable, he said.

“Currently, we have no way to predict who will respond or not therapeutically or who might have a bad experience,” he said. “There is so much we still don’t know.”

The Mexico retreat’s women understood the risks. However, many women at the retreat in Mexico acknowledged that they had lost faith and confidence in antidepressants. They had also heard enough inspiring stories from family members to make them believe they could do it.

Each woman had signed a hold-harmless agreement by the time they gathered around the mushroom ceremony on Saturday. They had completed questionnaires to measure post-traumatic stress and other psychological conditions and had been through a medical checkup.

Andrea Lucie (Chilean-American mind-body specialist) led the ceremony. She spent most of her career working alongside wounded U.S. veterans. After blowing burning sage onto cups of mushroom tea served on a tray decorated with flowers and candles, Ms. Lucie read a poem by María Sabina, a Mexican Indigenous healer who led mushroom ceremonies.

“Heal yourself with beautiful love, and always remember, you are the medicine,” recited Ms. Lucie, who is from a Mapuche Indigenous family in Chile.

After having drank, the women lay down on the ground and put on eye protection while listening to soothing music from a speaker.

About 40 minutes into the ceremony, the first stirrings occurred. A few women wept and lowered their shades. One laughed, then another.

Then came the wailing. Jenna Lombardo -Grosso was a former Marine who lost the mother of her child to suicide. She stormed out of their room and huddled down with Ms. Lucie.

Ms. Lombardo-Grosso, 37, sobbed and screamed: “Why, why, why!” She later explained that the mushrooms had surfaced traumatic childhood episodes of sexual abuse.

Samantha Juan, an Army veteran who had been sexually abused as children, broke down in the ceremony room. It was her third time attending a retreat led by Dr. Polanco. She explained that she had experienced traumatic memories throughout her life, which led her to drink heavily after leaving the Army in 2014.

“I’ve learned how to give myself empathy and show myself grace,” said Ms. Juan, 37.

She said that she was trying to make peace with a sex assault she suffered in the Army and she wanted to be able to go on retreat.

“In today’s journey, the focus is forgiveness,” Ms. Juan had said shortly before taking the mushrooms. “I don’t want that kind of grip on me anymore.”

The effects of the mushrooms started to wear off and there was a general sense of calm. The women exchanged stories and cracked jokes, and they fell into long embraces.

The jitters returned the next morning as the women waited for their turn to smoke 5-MeO-DMT, a trip that Dr. Polanco calls “the slingshot” for the speed and intensity of the experience.

Ms. Juan cried out for help as her lungs took in the toad secretions. Then, she shifted onto her mat. Ms. Bostwick looked confused and unsteady as her body moved from lying on her back to being on all fours. Ms. Lombardo–Grosso vomited, gasped and jolted violently while Ms. Lucie and Ms. Lucie held steady.

Ms. Lombardo-Grosso was able to regain consciousness and began to weep.

“It felt like an exorcism,” she said. “It felt like sulfur coming up, black, and now there’s nothing but light.”

Alison Logan was on the brink, she said, of getting divorced. She stated that her sadness was brought to the forefront by the trips, but that they did not provide any insights or sense of resolution.

“It felt like a lot of pain without any answers,” she said.

The other participants stated that their physical ailments had subsided and that their moods had improved.

Ms. Bostwick said that she was “mystified,” but ecstatic, that her migraines were gone and that for the first time in a long time she felt a sense of boundless possibility.

“I feel like my body let go of so much of the anger and frustration and all the petty stuff that we hold on to,” she said. “I was overflowing with negativity.”

During the days after the retreat, Ms. Juan said she felt “full of energy and ready to take each day head on.”

Ms. Lombardo -Grosso said that the retreat helped her find peace with her mother’s passing and turned her outlook towards the future from one of dread to one filled with optimism.

“I feel whole,” she said a few days later from her home in Tulsa. “Nothing is missing anymore.”