This can be a love story. Although not within the standard sense. This can be a story of self-love and self-discovery, one which’s unfolded over Rebecca Lim’s being pregnant journey.
“Being pregnant has taught me numerous issues,” says the 37-year-old actor. Our dialog takes place when she’s in her final stretch of being pregnant, at 38 weeks. She delivered her son through pure start on January 30, after 14 hours in labour.
All through her being pregnant time period, Rebecca has engaged in occasions, and accomplished a few shoots for media options. But, it has been a while since she has had the chance to be in entrance of the digicam for such an prolonged interval, particularly contemplating she hasn’t filmed a brand new present because the begin of her being pregnant. Throughout the cowl shoot, there’s a delicate wistfulness in her expression as she evaluations the pictures – it appears that previously few months, her life has modified a lot that even an everyday work second brings her a way of pleasure she might need forgotten.
How has all the things been to this point, provided that that is her first baby? “Truly, that is my second – I’ve a secret baby,” she says with a smile, earlier than breaking out into laughter. Although we’re talking simply after our prolonged six-hour cowl shoot, her spirits stay excessive regardless of her gruelling day in entrance of the digicam. Her playful manner, marked by jokes and frequent smiles that punctuate her sentences, manifests all through our dialog.
“Kidding! I’m simply kidding! Properly, all the things has been excellent for me to this point on this trimester. No complaints, simply the same old low vitality and a few lethargy,” she says.
Whereas Rebecca didn’t have extreme morning illness, her first trimester required ample mattress relaxation because of situations of instability within the being pregnant, inflicting ache and bleeding. She notes that her age might need contributed to the challenges throughout these preliminary months. Adjustments had been additionally anticipated, she says. “Bodily, undoubtedly. You’re feeling it, you see it. Everybody sees it.”
However mentally? There have been additionally new discoveries made, she says. “Folks are likely to deal with morning illness and urge for food adjustments when discussing being pregnant, and people are the same old questions I’ve been requested, however just lately, I’ve simply been feeling blessed to have the ability to create a life. These 9 months have opened my eyes to so much. Via this being pregnant journey, I’ve realised that it’s not simply concerning the child taking 9 to 10 months to kind; it’s additionally a journey of self-discovery for the [mum-to-be] throughout this era.”
A mom’s sacrifice
Maxi costume with cut-out panels, Onitsuka Tiger
Rebecca is navigating a problem that resonates with many pregnant working girls on maternity go away: the sense of loss and having to step away from a hard- earned profession constructed over time. In an trade the place look and traits play a pivotal function, taking a hiatus for being pregnant can intensify this sense of loss and the worry of turning into quickly sidelined. It could possibly be mentioned that perseverance is a theme in Rebecca’s evolving profession.
For almost all of her profession, she has labored tirelessly, starting when she was recognized as a expertise and signed on as a part-time actor with Mediacorp in 2005, whereas pursuing a level in accountancy and majoring in regulation at Singapore Administration College. She transitioned to being a full-time actor after commencement.
She began in 2008 on the age of twenty-two with the drama The Fact, the place she co-starred with native stars Tay Ping Hui and Joanne Peh. Regardless of early criticism for her command of the Chinese language language, she continued to pursue performing and converted to English productions. She later earned popularity of her function as a trainee lawyer within the Channel 5 regulation sequence, The Pupil, in 2010. Decided to reach Chinese language productions, she studied the language and finally achieved a Mandarin breakthrough together with her portrayal of a psychiatrist within the Channel 8 drama Unriddle 2.
Her final film was the psychological thriller Confinement in 2023. She stars as a first-time mom who begins experiencing unusual issues when her confinement nanny (performed by native actor Cynthia Koh) strikes in to deal with her new child. And, lower than 24 hours earlier than we converse, she was awarded the Finest Main Feminine Efficiency (Digital) on the twenty eighth Asian Tv Awards for her function in action-thriller tv sequence Third Rail (“I’m very grateful for the honour and assist from followers,” she says).
“To need to put all of that on maintain, initially, it was a bit…” she trails off, pondering for a second. “There’s this tiny sense of insecurity. All of a sudden, I felt like I had misplaced my sense of id, as a result of my work was carefully tied to my sense of price.”
When she needed to take a step again and re-evaluate who she was past her function as an actor, it required numerous “soul-searching”. “It’s been a really humbling course of. Discovering price in who I’m, not simply as an actor, however as an individual, was a wrestle firstly of this being pregnant,” she shares. “I’ve at all times labored continuous, and busied myself with work – a lot in order that it’s like hiding myself in it. So proper now, when I’ve no work in any respect moreover the occasional occasion or shoot, it’s simply very completely different.”
It’s been a really humbling course of. Discovering price in who I’m, not simply as an actor, however as an individual, was a wrestle firstly of this being pregnant.
This alteration of tempo has been eye-opening. She’s discovering numerous completely different aspects of herself, she shares. With extra time on her fingers, has she picked up any new hobbies or made new self-discoveries? “I’ve found that I’m very unhealthy at packing,” she jokes.
She had just lately accomplished renovation works and moved into her very first own residence: a two-storey terrace home that originates from the Thirties. “Except for that, effectively, as a result of I’ve at all times been so busy, I hardly do something for myself. Now that I’ve a lot time on my fingers, I envy individuals who have many hobbies for issues they love to do moreover work. I’ve been specializing in work on a regular basis, and if it’s not work, my free time is devoted to my household. I hardly have time to spend on myself. That is the time after I’m like, ‘Truly, what do I actually take pleasure in? What do I like? What are my hobbies?’ After which I realise: It’s simply to do nothing. It’s such a luxurious to have the ability to sit and simply be nonetheless, and have ‘me time’. I feel that was what I actually wanted earlier than the newborn arrives.”
Making ready for her greatest function
Jacket, Louis Vuitton. Ring, Givenchy
Talking of the newborn, Rebecca, who declined to share the newborn’s chosen identify on the time of this interview (“We’ve just a few names in thoughts, however we’ll actually solely know and resolve as soon as we see the newborn’s face”), is unsure about the kind of mom she will likely be.
“There are two camps [within my family and friends]. One group predicts that I’ll be a really strict mom, and the opposite says I’ll be very chill and relaxed. Some days, I feel I’ll be cool; different days, I feel I’ll be actually uptight. I do not know,” she shares.
Let’s break it down into eventualities, then. What if her baby breaks their curfew? “How previous is my baby?” she asks, taking this train critically. Say, underneath 16? “Okay, then I’ll be strict. I feel as a result of my mother and father had been very strict with me rising up. I’ll undoubtedly incorporate a few of how I used to be introduced up and apply it to my baby.”
The journey of being pregnant has instilled in her an appreciation for her upbringing. Rebecca identifies strongly with the “nurture” side on the psychology of nature versus nurture, emphasising the numerous impression of childhood on one’s character. She says she has come to grasp that being strict in conditions the place it’s crucial is essential. “Once I was youthful and broke curfews, disobeyed my mother and father, and confronted punishments, I used to envy classmates with very relaxed mother and father who allowed freedom. They might do no matter they wished: keep over at pals’ homes, go on holidays. These had been issues I didn’t get to do in my youth. Now as a grown-up, I perceive their worries and issues, and I admire that they protected me in a way. As a guardian, I wish to defend my baby for so long as I can as effectively.”
What about points with research, for instance, in the event that they didn’t submit their homework? “It’s okay. I didn’t submit my homework on a regular basis both!” she chuckles. “Educational efficiency isn’t as vital to me, however my baby needs to be, firstly, a cheerful baby. Secondly, respectful. [They have to be] variety, however sturdy on the identical time. These are the qualities I hope my baby can have. They have to be variety, but additionally know the best way to rise up for themselves.”
Surrounded by love
Sequinned maxi costume, Longchamp
They are saying it takes a village to lift a toddler, and fortuitously, Rebecca is surrounded by a robust and supportive “village”. Her husband, Matthew Webster – a 37-year-old Singaporean of British-Chinese language descent who’s assistant vice-president of company branding at PSA Singapore – has been extraordinarily supportive and understanding, which she undoubtedly appreciates. They tied the knot in November 2022, a 12 months after his proposal.
Rebecca notes his laid-back nature, which contrasts with tales from pals about extra uptight and frantic husbands. “He’s very chill, so it helps make me extra relaxed in the course of the course of,” she says. “We haven’t deliberate intimately, as a result of we’re each first-time mother and father, and this complete journey is international and formidable to the each of us. The plan is for him to take parental go away as soon as the confinement nanny leaves. I imagine that’s after I’ll be needing assist to regulate to my new regular.”
Assist can even come within the type of her household. The actor could be very near her household, together with her brother, Daniel, who’s the resident baker on the household’s pastry enterprise The Lims’ Kitchen, and youthful sister, Melissa. “I’m extraordinarily blessed and privileged, as a result of I’ve household who’re keen to assist [with taking care of my child]. I’ve helped babysit my niece on many events too! So it’s payback time for my brother.”
Throughout a current dinner, Rebecca requested her mom about the very best and worst elements of being a mum. “She had numerous unhealthy issues to say about being a mum, reminiscent of lack of private time,” she says with some mirth, however provides: “She additionally had numerous recommendation to provide. And the one that basically caught with me was to ‘not neglect to deal with your self’.” Her mom, she shares, has at all times been one who put everybody else earlier than herself. “And so, for her to say one thing like that, it holds numerous weight.” Rebecca interprets it as a late-life epiphany for her mom, desirous to spare her daughters from an analogous expertise.
Cotton tank high with embellished emblem, suede coat, and embroidered miniskirt, Chanel
It’s an added consolation that her sister is pregnant on the identical time, three weeks behind. They spend high quality time collectively, attending prenatal pilates periods, sharing meals, and hanging out. Rebecca emphasises the importance of this shared expertise. “We speak about all the things, and she or he is absolutely somebody I share all the things with. She’s my favorite individual on the earth, so to undergo this expertise together with her makes it much more particular.”
This being pregnant has been a bittersweet mixture of pleasure and sorrow, nevertheless, as there’s one member of the family lacking within the image. When Rebecca discovered that she was pregnant, the household was nonetheless grieving her father’s passing. He handed away from well being issues in Could final 12 months.
“My sister and I are each daddy’s women, and so we at all times provide you with eventualities like, ‘Oh, if dad was nonetheless round, he’d in all probability be spoiling us with meals deliveries’, and issues like that. It’s good to have somebody like her to speak about it,” she reveals. This shared connection offers a comforting area for them to debate their father, and reminisce about his presence.
Rebecca additionally plans to share tales about him together with her baby. She acknowledges the fleeting nature of time, and the significance of making lasting recollections. “It’s made me realise that I would like my baby to have as many recollections with the grandparents as attainable. In order that they’d at all times have issues to look again on, to smile about, and haven’t any regrets,” she says, emphasising the will for her baby to forge a robust reference to all three grandparents, and her nearly 90-year-old great-grandmother. Drawing from her personal upbringing surrounded by grandparents, she sees it as instilling a novel set of values in a toddler.
The following episode
Sequinned wrap costume with ruffle element, and studded leather-based boots, Louis Vuitton
On returning to work after giving start, the actor reveals that she is seeking to take her time to pick out her subsequent undertaking fastidiously.
Whereas she isn’t speeding the return, she expresses a real need to renew her skilled life, noting the significance of retaining part of her id and embracing new challenges in her work. “Work is part of my life that’s so vital to me. I nonetheless love what I do,” she says. “My profession is just not one thing that I need to hand over simply but. It’s one thing that I really feel I ought to have for myself.”
My profession is just not one thing that I need to hand over simply but. It’s one thing that I really feel I ought to have for myself
As she anticipates the arrival of her child, Rebecca notes that embracing motherhood doesn’t diminish her id. Quite, it provides to her roles as a profession lady, a loyal spouse, and a cherished daughter and granddaughter.
“I imagine that, in life, there are completely different levels. The previous decade for me was primarily about work. With this new chapter, it doesn’t imply I’m solely specializing in household, however there’s undoubtedly a shift. I’m trying ahead to what’s to return. Whereas I don’t know what’s going to occur with this new milestone, I’m excited for the journey it brings,” she says.
And as she enters this subsequent chapter, she’ll undoubtedly proceed discovering new elements of herself, simply as these previous 9 months have unfolded.
PHOTOGRAPHY REUBEN FOONG
CREATIVE DIRECTION & STYLING LENA KAMARUDIN
ART DIRECTION RAY TICSAY
PHOTOGRAPHY ASSISTANTS HO JIA HONG & KHAIRUL AMIRIN
STYLING ASSISTANT JEON JAE WON
HAIR GARY LOW/PASSION
MAKEUP SHAUN LEE, USING CHANEL BEAUTY
COORDINATION WINDY AULIA
Supply: Her World
