I love relationships and I love men, but I’ve learned that I do NotI love to date. As I enter my 24th birthday, I also begin real adulthood in a new place. After graduating, moving, and settling into a new life, I realized something: I’ve been single for a long time, and I’m tired of it. My usual hangouts (bars/spin studios, coffee shops, and my male-dominated workplace) have not proved fruitful in meeting nice men. I decided that it was time for a change. All of this led me to embark on one of the most bizarre, hilarious, and rewarding adventures of my entire life. I signed up for five different dating apps all at once.
I’ve never been into online dating, so signing up for any app was daunting. That being said, though, I’m not one to half-ass a project. I decided to download and create profiles on five of the most popular dating apps and committed to spending a month as a member.
This was not only for me, but also for my friends, colleagues, and acquaintances. I wanted to compare and test the value, consistency, and worth of each app. I tested their standards of profiles (yikes—see more below), their processes, and their successes and failures.All of this was done to make it easier for everyone. YouWho want to try it. Go ahead, call me The Bachelorette of Online Dating (I’ll wait).
Here, you’ll find a breakdown of my experiences: the good, the bad, and the creepy.
Apps
1. Tinder
2. Bumble
3. Coffee Meets Bagel
4. Hinge
5. Match.com
The Setup
Together with my editorial team, I chose the five most downloaded apps (most popular based upon relevancy, not actual numbers). I downloaded each app, and created a profile. This part was harder than expected—for the sake of the experiment, I wanted to keep each profile consistent to the next. While each individual app is unique, I wanted to present myself as uniformly as possible (For example, while Tinder has more of a “hook-up” stereotype than Hinge does, I didn’t want to present myself as more open to hook-ups on one versus the other). It’s difficult to decide how to present yourself in this capacity: How much is appropriate to share, but how much is not enough?
After these decisions were made, and my profiles were created it was official: There was no turning around.
A note: I am straight, so I was looking for just men on all of these apps and will discuss that experience, so I can’t talk about how it might be for someone who is queer. However, all these apps have been approved and approved by our queer editor. This means that LGBTQ+ Everygirls everywhere can also enjoy these apps.
1. It’s Going Down, I’m Yelling “Tinder“
Price: No charge (optional in app upgrades available for purchase).
Tinder was a possibility that I had high hopes for. I have a friend who met her fiancé on Tinder and another friend just dated a Tinderella for over a year. It has great potential. Despite this, I came in with an open mind and a heavy sense for skepticism. I’ve heard the success stories, but I’ve also heard the horror stories—as I’m sure you have too. Tinder is very easy to use. To create a profile, you connect with Facebook. Your photos are automatically selected. Plus, no one can start a conversation with you unless you’ve already liked (or “swiped right”) them, which theoretically limits the chances of creeps (key word: theoretically).
Tinder: A good bio is worth a thousand words (cheesy).
The high:There are So Many Tinder guys. Some of them were incredibly sweet, even if they were sweet in a cringe-inducing, cheesy way (no, I’m not a Charlie’s Angel). I sincerely believe that Tinder is a great way to realize just how many fish are in the sea, even if that only serves you the purpose of realizing they’re not quite the fish you’re looking for.
Ah men, masters at the opening line
The low(s), There was the guy who told me he wrote me a “poem,” which turned out to be an unbelievably offensive piece of pornography that prompted me to feel like I needed to simultaneously take a shower and scream into a pillow, and of course, there was the disturbingly high number of men I accidentally “super liked.” I thought you could only “Pass” (left swipe) or “Like” (right swipe), but no— if you swipe “up,” it notifies the guy that you “Super Like” him. Seriously, it is so easy to mistakenly swipe “up” instead of “right,” so I look like the world’s most eligible yet most desperate woman in cyberspace.
Let’s conclude: Tinder is not as scary as people think it is, but you still shouldn’t trust these strangers too quickly.
2. The Birds and the “Bumble“bees
Price: Free (optional In-App Upgrades Available for Purchase, Like Bumble Premium)
Bumble is pretty similar to Tinder in that they both function on the premise of “swiping.” The thing that differentiates Bumble from Tinder is that once mutual swiping occurs, the woman has to be the one to initiate a conversation. I’m not sure why I thought I would enjoy such enormous pressure, but it is safe to say that I do not. To find out which conversation starters get the best responses, I did test out several different ones. My first day, I sent out 10 straight-up “Hey, how’s it going?”s and had a 50% success rate (if you count “Is your tongue pierced?” as a successful response. No? OK, so that’s a 40% success ratio. Below, in descending order I ranked five opening lines I tried. Feel free to copy them:
5. “Two truths and a lie—ready, set, go!” – 27% response rate
4. “What’s cookin, good lookin?” – 50% response rate
3. “Hey, how’s it going?” – 50% response rate
2. “This might sound crazy, but I gotta ask: Were you a contestant on The Bachelorette?” – 71% response rate (my personal favorite!)
1.“I need a new Netflix show. Any good recommendations?” – 75% response rate
My best opening line in action. What are the chances?!
The high:Bumble is full of nice guys. They are aware that they must wait for female-initiated conversations. This is a good sign that they realize that most girls on Bumble aren’t looking for a quick hook-up. I had some great conversations and even went on some dates. If you can muster the guts to make the first move, it’s going to pay off.
The low(s), First of all, it’s definitely disappointing when you have what you think is a great opening line, and then the guy never even responds. I made an effort to reach out every guy I matched up with. I would have loved to have received some sort of response, even though they swiped right at me each time. I also saw many different men who were active on Tinder and Bumble. Many of them had slightly different profiles in order to appeal to different clienteles on each application, which I thought was a bit odd. One example: I found a Tinder guy who shared his solo photos (shirtless) and a bio. But on Bumble, his photos featured him with his teammates (and his mom!) as well as a longer biography. But of course, I’m currently active on not two but FiveDifferent dating apps exist, so who am I?
Let’s conclude: In general, I felt a better vibe from the guys on Bumble than on Tinder, but there’s a high risk involved. If your self-esteem can’t take the potential (and likely) hit of not getting responses after putting yourself out there, this app’s not for you.
Note: Men seeking women and women seeking men are given the option of starting a conversation.
3. Let’s Play “Match” Game!
Price: $19.99/mo for iTunes app access; full online price differs depending on plan
Match.com is one of the OG dating sites, and you’ve probably seen their very active marketing strategies. Match.com boasts that “Everyone knows someone who’s found love on Match.com!” and they want you to be next. It’s a very detailed profile system, and I have the highest respect for their dedication to authenticity and comfort. However, there are no free memberships. This one is for those who are committed to a relationship.
The high:My ego was boosted tremendously by this site. My profile was viewed by 128 men in less than a week. I received 21 private messages and the Match team gave me between 10 and 12 official matches each day. In general, the private messages sent on this site are far more detailed and personal than those of Tinder or Bumble, usually going far past “Hey, what’s up?” It’s very clear that the majority of men on this site are looking for love (in all the right places).
The low:Match.com allows you to fill out a series questions about yourself, as well as questions about your ideal partner. Although I entered my desired ages, most of the men who messaged me or liked me were not within the range. Despite being in my 20s, I seem to be a huge hit with the 35-and older crowd. While I understand that love knows no age (and I have no judgment for those who prefer to date outside their own age demographic), I’d like to have a bit more control over who can approach me (as I do with the other apps).
No, you are not just “older,” you are twice my age. Prime example of how age preferences on Match.com literally mean nothing.
Let’s conclude: Match.com is a well-tested platform, and they clearly know what they’re doing. But if you’re in your early 20s, I think it’s safe to say that you are not this site’s key demographic.
4. I Went On A “Hinge” Binge
Price: $5+/mo for full-membership; Basic Membership is Free
Hinge will defy all your preconceived ideas. They’ve completely redesigned their platform in the last year and rebranded their entire existence. New York Magazine called Hinge “Match.com for millennials” and Vanity FairHinge was praised by women for its ability to listen to their needs. Hinge is now known as the relationship app, “swiping left on swiping.” You set up a very detailed profile, and viewers are allowed to “like” certain parts of your profile (images and responses to prompts) as opposed to just the profile as a whole. This is a way to create connections based on common interests and provide key points for the conversation. Swiping is not an option; it is a fun and unique way of finding common ground.
The high:I felt that my profile accurately represented who I am. This made me feel comfortable and confident that the men I met were also authentic. It’s definitely easy to start a conversation based on mutual commonalities, and Hinge does a great job of diving into personalities instead of just outward appearances.
The low: Hinge is still getting started again after rebranding, so they don’t have a massive user base. Also, considering how detailed the process is, it’s a little bit complicated. This one is not for the weak of heart. However, this low doubles as a high: People who use this app are clearly invested in a positive long-term outcome.
Let’s conclude: I’m really looking forward to seeing how Hinge works in the future, and I would sincerely recommend it to any friend looking to work hard (and potentially pay some cash) to find a serious relationship.
Note: I live in Chicago, but I’ve heard that Hinge is significantly more popular in the NYC area.
Free Price
CMB is based on the heterosexual concept that #LadiesChoice. It means that women only get matches with men who are already interested in them. Each day I received a list of men who liked me. Not only did this make me feel like a baller, but it’s also cool that the ball is ultimately in the woman’s court (See what I did there?). Once the woman likes it, both parties get notified and a chatroom is opened. After that, CMB offers a few conversation-starting ideas to get the ball rolling (I should really stop with this “ball” metaphor).
The high: It’s nice to go through a carefully selected list of men who have already expressed interest, and CMB’s profiles are also a lot more detailed than the likes of Tinder and Bumble.
This was One of the more successful conversations I had onThis app really says something.
The low: Since there are several steps required to make a mutual match, there’s not much instant gratification. Unsurprisingly, chat rooms are much more likely to open than those on simpler, faster apps. It was a complete waste of time.
Let’s conclude:Coffee Meets Bagel was created by a group sisters. Their quirky and fun approach to online dating was refreshing. I’d recommend this app to someone who already has a very good idea of what they’re looking for in a relationship. How adorable is their advertising?
Note: In the case of women seeking women, men seeking men, or a man or woman seeking both men and women, each user receives at least two quality matches per day (in an effort to effectively give everyone involved a number of high-quality options without giving one person more control).
Takeaways
The most disturbing (and fascinating) aspect of the whole experience was not that many men and women are simply looking to casually hookup (you do what, friends!). Most disturbing to me were the methods by which they went about their attempts to “just hook up”—and their assumptions that you’ll be susceptible to the idea. There are many people who use dating sites to meet someone for a casual date. However, there are many others who want more. My advice: Be open about your own intentions and don’t judge the people whose intentions are different. For the love of all things holy and for your own creativity, please do not be afraid to get creative.
In conclusion: Quick Stats
Most Dates:Bumble
The Most Successful ConversationsBumble
Most Conversation Attempts Received: Match.com
Most Offers to “Just Hook Up”:Tinder
Cutest GuysBumble
The nicest guys: Match.com
Creepiest guys:Tinder
Biggest SelectionTinder
Coolest Concept: Coffee Meets Bagel (Honorable mention goes to Hinge).
Most detailed profiles:Match.com (Honorable mention goes to Hinge).
Overall FavoriteBumble
Overall, Second Favorite Tinder (I was also surprised!)
Now, what?
After a month chock-full of small talk, pickup lines, and virtual introductions, I’m definitely ready to slow down. However, I now believe more than ever that there are plenty of eligible men out there—and in 2022, there’s no right or wrong way to meet them. I chose to maintain my memberships on both Bumble and Hinge, and I’m always looking forward to what app the dating world creates next. That being said, though, I’ve got to ask: Know someone who needs a girlfriend? Give them my number—or just tell them to swipe right.
Source: The Every Girl
