Maybe you’ve read The Secret, tuned in to manifestation podcasts like Gabby Bernstein’s Dear Gabby or Lacy Phillips’ Expanded, or gone on a TikTok #manifestation binge. There are many inspiring stories of people who have achieved their dreams, financial success, or even a romantic partner. Even celebrities like Ariana Grande, Drake, and Oprah have spoken (or sang, in our girl Ariana’s case) on the power of manifestation. Why not harness this power in your bedroom?
Before we get into that, let’s back up for a quick second. If manifestation is something you don’t know, it’s a practice that dates back thousands years. It can be found within many ancient teachings and practices including Buddhism and Christianity. In fact, Buddha’s famous quote, “all that we are is a result of what we have thought,” hits the nail on the head in defining manifestation. Advanced Akashic record reader and Akashic breathwork facilitator Krista Rauschenberg defines manifestation as “the act of removing obstacles, be it limiting beliefs, out-dated conditioning, and/or negative thinking toward ourselves and others.”
The *most* important thing to remember is that manifestation takes work. It is, afterall. practice, It is not magic. “Anything we manifest is always worked toward and earned,” Rauschenberg explained. The good news is that we all can learn it, and sometimes the results can feel like. magic. I don’t know about you, but a better sex life is worth a little work, IMO. Sold? Let’s get started. Continue reading for expert-backed tips to help you live a better sex lifestyle.
Get to Know Yourself
Mindset and manifestation coach Efia Sulter’s method begins with getting to know yourself, who you want to be, and what your values are. Sulter believes this is a crucial step because it keeps you grounded in the face of any challenges. In this case, you’ll want to get to know yourself in the bedroom. “Whether you’re single, dating, or in a relationship, improving your sex life has to begin with you,” Sulter said. That’s right!
These questions will help you to understand your relationship with sex. What are your needs? What is your motivation? Not sure? You can also find out a lotYou can learn a lot about yourself by enjoying self-satisfaction. “If you make your pleasure and your orgasm your responsibilities, then you can create an environment and the kind of partnership that will allow and support that,” Rauschenberg explained. Sulter dedicates her entire Sunday to solo time, “setting up [her]Space with candles and listening to [her] ‘seducing myself’ playlist while dancing around [her]Bedroom in [her] underwear.” (*Cancels Sunday plans*)
Look back at the Past
It is equally important to reflect on past experiences. These all have an impact on the present moment. Rauschenberg reminded us that “the pain, shame, and heartache we carry, including conditioning from religious beliefs or family of origin about the meaning and value of sex, can create barriers to true sexual connection and pleasure.” We have to take time to unblock these barriers in order to open up opportunities for new, healthier experiences.
It can help you to look back at past experiences and determine what you want. What experiences would you like to have more of? Which ones do you want to share? “While your sex life may not be at the place you’d like it to be yet, you can feel those feelings now, and when you act from that place, magic begins to happen,” Sulter said. If this phase of self-discovery and reflection has you feeling overwhelmed or disenchanted, she also recommended “taking some time to be intentionally celibate.” “It sounds counterproductive,” she said, “but trust me on this.”
Clarify Your Intentions
Alright, now it’s time to set those intentions. You will be able to see clearly what your ideal sexlife looks and feels like once you have done some reflection on your past. Sulter recommended Writing, or “writing your dream future in the present tense,” exactly what you want your sex life to be like. “Be specific about the feelings,” she advised, “because that’s what helps you shift from wishing about something to actually making it happen.”
Like we said, manifestation requires action, and “when you’re clear on what you actually want, it’s much easier to then open up a conversation with other people and begin to gently make changes,” Sulter said. Identifying the things you want to feel and the experiences you want is key. KeyIn manifesting. Set those intentions and “choose a partner who supports this in you and you in them,” Rauschenberg said.
Embody Your Desires
After you’ve identified the feelings you desire, start to embody them. “When you can access and hold that state, you indicate to the universe, ‘more of this!’” Sulter explained. This practice of embodiment can help you attract experiences that will keep your state of being in it.
Manifestation is a mind-body practice. So be open to any rituals that can help you make this connection. It could be journaling or meditation, exercise, mirrorwork or just going for a walk outdoors without your phone. As you did with your manifestation in the past tense, practice. FeelingIt is also possible to use it in the present tense.
Experiment with Oils and Crystals
“Grounding stones and oils with a feel and fragrance that you enjoy will encourage you to use your senses,” Rauschenberg said, which is a direct ticket to embodiment. Sulter recommended rose quartz, which is known as the crystal of love, but she also suggested “picking a scent or a crystal that you feel drawn to, then looking up its properties to see what you were led there.” I’ve started dipping my toe into the crystal world and was pulled toward a stone with an orange-red-brown hue, later learning that it was Carnelian, a stone that is said to boost sexual energy and improve your sex life by activating the sacral chakra. Citrine, orange calcite, goldstone, and citrine are all known for improving sex and intimacy.
Essential oils can be used to enhance sexual experience, whether with yourself or with a partner. They can also be used in visualization and embodiment practices. Sulter recommended “lovingly massaging the oil into your body starting from the bottom of the feet, slowly working all the way up to the head.” You can use almond, grapeseed, or coconut oil—or any oil that puts you in the mood.
Make it a habit
If you incorporate these tools into your daily life, the power of these tools will increase exponentially. “Having a solid relationship with your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual body requires daily practice,” Rauschenberg stressed. The more you lean into these practices, the greater results you will see, and that’s when it starts to feel like magic. “When you begin to make raising your energy each day a conscious practice, it has the ability to shift your entire world,” Efia said from experience. These tools help Efia manifest her dreams and assist her clients.
While making it a habit is important, Sulter said “there are specific times of year that some deem to be more powerful than others, like the new moon for setting intentions and the full moon for releasing and letting go.” So if you’re looking for an excuse to start, check the next full or new moon. Rauschenberg also suggested tapping into your astrological chart and working with an expert to determine “where your sun, moon, and rising reside, among other things” that will help you enhance your manifestation practice. But remember, it’s up to you to decide what time works best for you. You have complete control over your manifestations and your thoughts can make your reality.
You can have the sex life that you desire by getting to know your self, reflecting on your history, setting your intentions, creating daily rituals and setting your intentions.
Source: The Every Girl