Comedian Lim Xixi: “Being different is nothing scary!”

“I’m so excited that that is my first cowl shoot,” gushes Xixi, throwing her arms up within the air with exuberance. “It’s such an enormous milestone.” She’s been interviewed by a number of publications earlier than, however this marks her first time within the title function. It’s ironic actually, as a result of most of her roles on-screen are usually typecast as a supporting character.

“[It’s usually] one of the best buddy of the feminine lead,” she says with a slight weariness in her voice. It’s not one thing that Xixi regrets as she entered the trade along with her eyes extensive open when she was 18. As a plus-sized performer, the 35-year-old was conscious that she was not like most celebrities in Singapore.

Nonetheless, Xixi was laser-focused on showcasing her expertise in comedy: “Each present wanted a comic book reduction, and I used to be that,” she says.

You may recognise her because the perennial greatest buddy and/or comedian reduction in reveals and flicks equivalent to The Oath (2011), Woman Band Referred to as Woman Band (2019), Upside Down (2018), and most lately, Jack Neo’s Ah Women Go Military (2022). She’s additionally a Youtube common, and stars in selection present The Outcasts launched a 12 months in the past.

However now, 17 years after coming into the trade, Xixi is able to attempt one thing new. “I’d like to be a villain,” she says. “It may be humorous too!” She refers back to the likes of Melissa McCarthy and Insurgent Wilson in Hollywood, and the way they’re portrayed in quite a lot of roles and are capable of discover a variety of personas. Nonetheless, her roadblock, she says thoughtfully, is that the manufacturing homes in Singapore are “conservative relating to exploring new stuff”.

“Each time I inform the native producers that I need to be a villain, they’ll say no. There’s a lot potential there, however they don’t need to discover it. However it might be so humorous if I performed a ninja or a serial killer – it might be refreshing too. There’s lots of potential for a plus-sized comic like me, however nobody is taking a leap of religion to jot down one thing and forged me in it,” she muses.

There’s lots of potential for a plus-sized comic like me, however nobody is taking a leap of religion.

Funnily sufficient, her first music single, I Am Xixi, occurred solely as a result of somebody took an opportunity on her. That any individual was Hagen Troy, a Singapore music composer and producer who’s written songs for the likes of Taiwanese singers Jolin Tsai and Ocean Ou.

When he slid into her DMs on Tiktok, Xixi had no clue who he was. Assuming that he was a Youtube artiste trying to collaborate, she agreed to talk to him. She in a while googled his credentials, realising that he was truly fairly the bigwig.

A ray of sunshine

Music has all the time been a part of Xixi’s life. She’s been singing since she was a baby, and received a few kids’s singing competitions, together with a Mediacorp singing competitors in 1996 and Teenage Icon in 2006. Her final album was launched 24 years in the past when she was 10, she says. “However I’ve all the time been singing.” In reality, she bursts into tune at the least 3 times throughout this interview. She shares how her mum and her aunt all the time know if she’s residence, due to the sound of her singing.

In typical Xixi vogue, she breaks into peels of laughter and recounts how she ended up singing a duet along with her neighbour someday, when she belted out Love Is An Open Door from the Disney musical, Frozen, within the bathe. Up to now, she has no clue who her lavatory karaoke accomplice is.

Her power is infectious, and it’s obvious within the I’m Xixi music video. It’s enjoyable, energetic and upbeat, and portrays Xixi in varied guises, from cutesy girl-next-door to a horny burlesque dancer. I’m Xixi is the performer’s manner of telling individuals who she really is. “They know who I’m, however they don’t actually know my title,” she explains.

“I need to put the message throughout to individuals who have doubts that plus-sized folks can dance. [There are assumptions that] they can’t costume a sure manner, they need to look a sure manner, or they’re lazy. So I challenged myself on this video. I need to present that we will costume in our personal manner and look good as properly. Nothing is unimaginable,” she reiterates.

“If you wish to do one thing, you’ll positively discover a approach to do it.”

Pushing boundaries appears to be the norm for Xixi. This 12 months, in Jack Neo’s Ah Women Go Military, she performed the function of Yuan Yuan Yuan, a reputation that netizens weren’t completely satisfied about, calling it fat-shaming (“yuan” means spherical in Mandarin). Nonetheless, Xixi stands by her resolution, saying that it’s “only a title”. She provides that she cherished that her character was a lot just like the real-life Xixi:

“Somebody optimistic. Somebody who isn’t lazy. Somebody who all the time does her greatest.” She reveals that she did all her stunts for the film, together with “leopard crawling with a 5kg rifle”, as a result of there have been no “stunt doubles of my measurement”.

This was probably the most memorable and hardest function she ever needed to carry out, she says, largely due to the lengthy hours and the bodily exhaustion. She provides that she has a new-found respect for director Jack Neo. Other than his unwavering work ethic, she says he was very open to her strategies, particularly when it got here to portraying a plus-sized girl on display.

Difficult stereotypes

It’s taken Xixi a very long time to simply accept who she is. She’s been vocal about her struggles as a teen, when she was aggressively bullied in secondary college. “I’d be referred to as a pig, and be instructed to go to the farm,” she says.

Youngsters may be brutal, and Xixi places it all the way down to “them not realizing higher”. She says she’s now on speaking phrases with the bully who would put glue on her chair, ruining her tailored uniform. She pulls a face when requested if forgiveness was a part of her journey.

“I don’t name it forgiveness; we have been simply too younger to know what we have been doing. I believe we simply all
have to learn to let go. We shouldn’t maintain on to so many issues, so we will transfer ahead feeling lighter,” she says. “When you’ve got an excessive amount of baggage, it’ll simply make you sad.”

I don’t name it forgiveness; we have been simply too younger to know what we have been doing.

Happiness and acceptance are a recurring theme in our dialog. A turning level in her teenage life was when she noticed an advert at a lingerie retailer in Westgate, and she or he seen that the mannequin stood out due to the hole in her enamel.

“I realised that being totally different is admittedly nothing scary,” she says of her epiphany. “I made a decision to essentially embrace myself step-by-step. So, I ended hiding inside a crowd.”

Because of the fixed jeering, she had made herself imagine that she should be unhappy and depressed. She would solely costume in a colorless uniform of polo tees and denims, and was all the time gloomy. Xixi believed that being nondescript would imply no person would discover her, however that solely made her extra depressed and sad. She internalised the shaming, believing that she had no proper to be herself.

The day she noticed the gap-toothed mannequin, she determined to embrace her fears. The then 15-year-old requested her classmates if she might carry out a solo throughout Instructor’s Day. To her shock, they instantly agreed, and instructed her that they’d be her backup dancers.

This incident taught Xixi an vital lesson: that folks react to your vibe, and no person desires to hang around with a adverse Nancy on a regular basis. “I believed they solely wished to hang around with people who find themselves identical form as them, however [I realised] that when you panned the digicam to their aspect, it’d be vivid and glossy. If you happen to panned the digicam to me, I’d be strolling in a dark shadow.”

She pressured herself to snap out of it when her mom misplaced it someday, and shouted at her “to cease crying each single day”. That’s when she realised that she might preserve feeling sorry for herself, or stand up and struggle for the life she wished. She didn’t need to let folks management her life anymore.

“I used to be sick and bored with attempting to slot in. Deep down, I’m truly a really completely satisfied and jovial particular person, however folks stored telling me to remain low, lay low, and to not appeal to consideration. However that’s not how I felt about myself! I used to be simply bored with being instructed how I ought to stay my life. As a result of irrespective of how arduous I attempted [to fit in], I’m simply on the heavier aspect. And, I really like meals,” she says with a peal of laughter.

She provides: “I realised that I might slowly reveal my true self, and that folks actually do like me for my persona. They all the time discover me very humorous, and [that] I’m very loud and vibey. I actually take pleasure in making folks round me completely satisfied.”

I realised that I might slowly reveal my true self, and that folks actually do like me for my persona.

On the plus aspect

At this time, Xixi has embraced her function as a plus-sized ambassador. She nonetheless will get loads of hate on social media, and she or he publicly addressed a web-based bully lately when the particular person was continually sending her nasty messages on Instagram. At one level, they requested, [sic] “Sis what number of months you anticipating?” However Xixi takes it in her stride, realizing that the hatred is an element and parcel of her fame.

As a substitute of ignoring her DMs, she makes it some extent to answer to everybody, particularly younger adults who is likely to be feeling depressed, uncomfortable of their pores and skin, or ashamed about their weight. She sends them phrases of encouragement, and attracts recommendation from her personal journey.

To additional encourage different girls to be happy with themselves, she reveals that she is going to quickly be launching a capsule assortment with an area model that’s nonetheless within the works. It would have an inclusive line of sizes from UK 8 to 24, with cuts and silhouettes which are flattering for girls of all shapes.

“It actually motivates me each time I get optimistic messages telling me that they love my model, or asking me the place I purchase my garments from. I additionally get adverse feedback from girls who say that [they] don’t really feel fairly and can’t discover garments to put on, or that [they’re] of an ungainly form.

“I really feel like that is my calling. I’m right here to inform folks that hey, if I can appear to be this, actually everybody can look fairly,” she says.

From drab colors to a vibrant burst of sunshine, Xixi’s model evolution is probably reflective of her personal journey of loving and accepting herself as a plus- sized girl.

Nonetheless, there are days when the doubts floor. And for these days, Xixi has a secret weapon: “I’ll go to the bathroom bowl, I’ll scream, I’ll say what my drawback is, and I’ll flush it away.”

Xixi’s private mantra

What’s one factor you like probably the most about your self?

I’d say my mindset. I is likely to be unhappy if I don’t get the function I really need, however give me two days, and I’ll be again and bouncing. You should just be sure you decide your self up, and perhaps the following alternative will probably be a greater one.

What’s one message you’d need to give younger ladies?

Don’t let anybody say [no to you]. Don’t let anybody management your life. Take management of it, and imagine in your self.

What do you do whenever you begin doubting your self?
I’ve this mirror in my eating space. Generally, I’ll lock eyes with my reflection whereas I’m having my dinner, and say: I’m perfection [laughs].

PHOTOGRAPHY Wee Khim, assisted by Ivan Teo
CREATIVE DIRECTION Windy Aulia
ART DIRECTION Ray Ticsay
HAIR Grego
MAKEUP Zoel Tee