Losing the “spark” in a long-term relationship is inevitable, just like realizing you have a crush on JJ from Outer Banks (forget John B, am I right? #teamJJ). We’re conditioned to desire the act of FallingIn love, not the act Keeping love. How many romcoms do your know? AfterYou can attend the wedding, and go on with your day. If anything, that would just be a really unfunny “com” (although I see Paul Rudd crushing that role).
But the “spark” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. There’s something innately comforting about someone who makes you feel peaceful instead of the butterflies and something much more enjoyable about pigging out on the couch and binging true crime instead of fancy first0date dinners (bonus: you don’t have to shave your legs anymore!). It’s important to maintain a lasting relationship that doesn’t become a friendship. No matter your place on the scale, a spark is important to keep a forever relationship from turning into a friendship. 50 Shades of Grey to old married couple, here’s how to keep the spark alive with 12 easy steps you can do this weekend:
1. Try something new
Relationships become stale when routines and habits are the norm. You should try something new to get to know your partner.ShipIn a new light. Whether it’s planning a vacation to a place neither of you has been, playing a card game when you’re more of a “Scrabble” couple, trying something new in bed, or even ordering takeout that’s different from your normal go-to, anything “new” (big or small) will bring back those falling-in-love feelings you had when you were experiencing everything for the first time with your partner.
2. Come together to work out
Perhaps your Saturday morning routine includes some yoga moves while your significant other goes on a run. Maybe you go on Sunday afternoons to an online Pilates class while your partner lifts. It’s important to have alone time and working out is a great time to pursue your individual preferences, but working out together every once in a while can be a great method to keep the spark alive. It can also be a great way to get extra motivation (and have some fun). flirtation? Yes, please!), but exercising also releases endorphins, which could help you deepen your emotional connection and feel more in touch. Plus, let’s be honest: Working out together counts as foreplay.
3. Communicate an emotion that’s not “I love you”
“I love you” is undoubtedly one of the most important things you’ll ever say to each other. In fact, an “I love you” a day keeps divorce papers away (just kidding, but not really). However, odds are, it’s something you tell each other often, whether it’s before hanging up the phone or falling asleep. It might not bring back the same feelings as they did in the beginning. Instead, communicate emotions that are more positive. Not Love can be expressed in gratitude, appreciation, and admiration. Try “I’m so proud of you,” “I’m so grateful for you,” or “You mean so much to me.”
4. Do one thing you want your partner do
When it comes to relationships (and all other aspects of your life), the bottom line is that you have to. CreateDo what you want and not wait for it to happen or for your partner to do the work. Be more romantic if you want your partner more romantic. Remember, you are what you make. Really You want a more romantic relationship. You can make it happen. It will become a habit for your partner to compliment you and bring home flowers. You want your partner to listen better. Give them your full attention, and ask high-mileage follow up questions.
5. Cook together
One of you is probably the “chef” of the relationship (and the other is the dishwasher), or maybe you take turns making dinner, depending on who is busier that day. This weekend, you might try cooking. Together. Not only will it be a fun new activity to try together (read: point #1), but it’s also an opportunity to work as a team. It will make you feel closer, even if it’s just a simple meal. Put your significant other on chopping duty while you grill or do something different, like homemade pasta, that you’ll laugh your way through (but will enjoy getting to eat).
6. “Love” in your partner’s love language
By now, you’ve probably heard enough about love languages to write a book on them yourself. But how often do they come up? Really It’s a good idea to do it together. If they love acts of service as their love language, then take care of the chores that they hate, such washing clothes or emptying the trash. If they’re more of a “words of affirmation” person, write a love letter. If they’re big on quality time, plan a special night together. Send them flowers from the grocery store if they are most comfortable with giving gifts. If their love language is physical touch, be extra tender if you can. Even if this takes you out of your comfort zone it’s worth the effort to plan and implement ways to make your partner feel special.).
7. Plan a special date night
Get out of your Tiger King-You can break from your usual weekend routine and do something different. Even if you’re used to date nights at a fancy restaurant or a movie theater, there are lots of special (and fun) date nights you can do from the comfort of your own home. Try a candlelit picnic on the living room floor, do a DIY wine tasting, or put together a theme night that you’ll be looking forward to all week. You don’t need a fancy restaurant or expensive movie theater tickets to have a spark-igniting date night. You only need each other, some creative thoughts, and perhaps a bottle or two of wine.
8. Communicate on a deeper level
When’s the last time you had a long, meaningful conversation? Communication is essential to keeping spark alive. But, with all the 24/7 togetherness, it’s possible that you are actually communicating We offer less since you don’t even have the normal go-to convo starters like “how was your day?” (because you Learn more how their day was—you were there!). This weekend, use dinner time or a casual happy hour on the couch to ask questions like “How are you Really feeling?” or “What can I do tomorrow to make our relationship better?” Also, try asking high-mileage questions that might feel cheesy but will spark meaningful and deep connection (emphasis on the “spark”).
9. Enjoy breakfast (or coffee) together
On weekends, dinner is the best way to spend quality time with your partner. Why should dinner be all the fun when breakfast is just as special? Since we usually rush through the first meal of the day or have it on the go, switch up your routine and cook brunch (eggs and hash browns included) together or even just eat your respective breakfasts at the table together instead of in front of your laptops (if they’re more of a cereal person and you much prefer omelets).
Remember when coffee dates were common? You can recreate the old days by making your favorite cappuccinos or lattes and having a chat while you drink coffee. The key to keeping the spark alive and sustaining it is to spend quality time together, despite the routine.
10. Impress your significant other
You love your partner in the same way in sweats and fancy dresses (we understand that your love is unconditional), but making an extra effort to make them feel special will make them feel appreciated and valued. YouYou are in the mood for some extra sparkle? You can dress up in a fancy dress, or blow dry your hair with a fancy perfume, if you don’t feel like doing too much for a night in. It will surprise your partner and give you an extra boost of confidence (and we all know that confidence is the best thing to keep the spark alive).
11. Kiss your partner in an unexpected setting or time
Intimacy and physical touch are often part of a long-term relationship. You may have to say goodbye, hold hands in the car, or even have sex every other weekend. There’s nothing wrong with routine (in fact, one of the best things about an LTR is the comfort), but try to keep the spark alive by adding in some additional physical touch during an unexpected time too. Give your partner a passionate kiss while you’re cooking in the kitchen or a kiss on the cheek while watching Netflix.
12. Offer to do something your partner loves but you don’t like
It’s a great idea to suggest a movie your partner likes but you find boring, or ordering takeout at a Mexican restaurant even though you prefer Japanese. After all, what’s one night of watching the person you love LOL (even while you internally roll your eyes) or seeing your significant other scarf down tacos (even if you don’t like them)?
While you know that compromise is important in relationships, what is the key to keeping the spark alive? Letting your partner “win” without even having to compromise at all. This means that you should choose the things they enjoy for their happiness only. Instead of compromising, give your partner what they want without asking. Put your partner first and watch a boring movie, or eat bad food. It will make a lasting impact on your relationship.
Source: The Every Girl
