As a self-proclaimed high-achiever and somebody with a very sturdy Virgo rising, you can say that I take my objectives extraordinarily severely. I really feel misplaced with out my constant each day routine, habits, and numerous to-do lists. The whole lot from work tasks, dinner plans, and home cleansing discover their option to an inventory, and if I can’t examine off each merchandise by the tip of the day? Cue the downward spiral.
I’m very conscious of my perfectionist tendencies and the way they maintain me again. I’ve so many artistic concepts and objectives, however I don’t comply with via on them as a result of I don’t really feel like I’m ok to attain them. The issue is I do know that I’d give you the chance to take action rather more and attain my full potential if I used to be snug with imperfection. It’s one thing that I’ve been working to vary with the assistance of a therapist, and my therapist lately shared one thing that utterly blew my thoughts and has helped me immensely as I slowly however certainly embrace my imperfections and cease letting perfectionism maintain me again: The 80 % Rule. Learn on to seek out out what it’s and find out how to apply it.
What’s The 80 % Rule?
If you happen to’re a perfectionist like me, you most likely don’t do something midway—it’s all or nothing. Whether or not it’s cleansing your closet or handing over an project for work, you all the time attempt for 100%. With a perfectionist mindset, something much less isn’t ok and, subsequently, unacceptable. I do know this sense all too properly. However I’ve discovered (because of remedy) that it’s truly OK to set the bar a bit of decrease. The 80 p.c rule means aiming for 80 p.c as an alternative of 100%. In different phrases, as an alternative of striving for no matter perfection means to you, take some stress off your self and purpose for “ok,” and that’s in every little thing you do: a exercise, consuming clear, a objective at work, or beginning a brand new passion. As a rule, the end result shall be greater than acceptable, however higher but, it’s a apply of self-compassion and a reminder that you simply’re already ok.
“It’s truly OK to set the bar a bit of decrease.”
How do you apply The 80 % Rule?
The fantastic thing about the 80 p.c rule is that it could apply to absolutely anything. From placing an outfit collectively to cleansing your rest room to submitting a piece undertaking, examine in with your self and see the place you’re further exhausting on your self. The place are you able to ease up your expectations? The place are you able to apply extra self-compassion and fewer self-judgment?
One space in my life that I’m further exhausting on myself is my residence. I work exhausting to maintain it clear and arranged, however issues usually get into disarray. You’re certain to see piles of laundry, soiled dishes, and common litter accumulate when my schedule will get further busy—an ideal alternative for me to apply the 80 p.c rule. As a substitute of trying on the complete home and feeling overwhelmed as a result of it’s not 100% good and I have to do a significant deep clear, I strive my greatest to tidy up not less than 80 p.c of the best way. If there’s nonetheless extra to be finished on the finish of the day, I take a deep breath and remind myself I can get to it tomorrow. The 80 p.c rule retains me from falling into the perfectionism entice, and it’s all the time a great reminder that I’m all the time sufficient—regardless of how a lot or how little I received finished that day.
“The 80 % Rule is a reminder that I’m all the time sufficient—regardless of how a lot or how little I received finished that day.”
How else can I embrace imperfection?
Mindset shifts take apply. Like every pursuit, the extra you apply, the higher you get at it, even overcoming perfectionism. I’ll be the primary to confess I’m nonetheless a piece in progress (completely imperfect!). If you happen to, too, wrestle with perfectionism, listed here are different small practices you may strive along with the 80 p.c rule:
Set closing dates for finishing a activity
Striving for 100% on a regular basis can imply you spend an extreme period of time making an attempt to execute every activity completely, a lot so that you simply’ll take endlessly to “end” one thing since you’re ready for perfection. As a substitute, take into consideration how a lot time you fairly have to get one thing to 80 p.c (i.e., are you able to get an 80 p.c exercise in half-hour slightly than 50 minutes? Are you able to get the presentation to 80 p.c ok by Friday so that you don’t work on it over the weekend?). Give your self an inexpensive period of time to get one thing finished, then decide to it.
Set achievable objectives
Possibly the issue isn’t your timeline however the objectives themselves. In case your objectives are unattainable, this may result in poor vanity and emotions of inadequacy. For instance, planning to have a “good” exercise schedule the place you do a 60-minute exercise daily of the week once you’re swamped at work and really feel drained on a regular basis? You’re setting your self up for failure earlier than you start. Set a objective that really feels achievable for you (occurring a stroll each day, 30-minute exercises as an alternative of 60 minutes, or understanding 5 days as an alternative of seven). Break your objectives down into extra digestible items, after which have fun every step you’re taking, regardless of how small.
Observe gratitude
Gratitude and The 80 % Rule go hand in hand. Being grateful for the entire belongings you do have is a good way to shift your perspective from specializing in the belongings you lack. As a substitute of specializing in the place you’re missing, you may shift your focus to how a lot you’re doing. Possibly your private home isn’t 100% clear, however isn’t it good to really feel grateful for the trouble you place into the cleansing that you simply did? There’s no such factor as good. Life is messy, and the earlier you may embrace the mess (actually and figuratively), the happier you can be. It seems the glass is 80 p.c full.
Supply: The Every Girl
