A large portion of my waking hours as a fitness professional has been spent in front a mirror, whether I’m doing one-on-one training sessions or leading classes. I like to think that “body checks” were more of an occupational hazard from all my time spent in front of a mirror, but if we’re being honest, I remember grabbing a bathroom pass to check my reflection in middle school. At twelve years old, I began staring at my reflection in an attempt to determine if my posture was making my legs look too long.
Throughout my teenage years and well into adulthood, there wasn’t a mirror, store window, car door, or front-facing camera that was safe from my constant need to check on my body. Every reflective surface I saw had the power to affect my self-esteem. I was a woman possessor until early 2021 when I gave up almost all mirrors. It’s been a full calendar year without them ruling my life—and I’ll never go back. Continue reading to learn more about my experience with body checks and how they work. How I got rid mirrors and how you can have more confidence and body love.
What are “body checks?”
Body checking is the repeated behavior of seeking details about your body’s size, shape, weight, or appearance from mirrors, reflections, photos, or other people. While you might be used to looking in the mirror at yourself as you pass, or zooming in on your body in the group photo, compulsive bodily checks is when these behaviors are a habitual behavior that negatively affects your mood.
Mirrors were a common tool in my early career in fitness. I was constantly performing body checks when I started it. These checks helped me to determine my self-worth, and placed in the industry. It often made it feel like a fraud posing as a personal coach. As I taught every class, demonstrated every exercise, and walked around the gym, I viewed my reflection and sought validation. I also mocked every part of my body. This was my constant reality up until last year when I realized that constantly checking my mirrors was ruining me confidence.
How I stopped body checking and limited mirrors
A year ago, I began working at a gym that doesn’t have a single mirror in the whole facility. It was impossible for me to see my body so I had to focus on what I was doing. For the first time I was able to stop obsessing about my body while working out or working out. For the first few weeks I felt a longing to see how others saw my move. But, as I grew in confidence, my concerns about what I looked like began to fade.
My desire to keep my body in check waned over time. I shifted my focus to training, making friends and performing well. Slowly but surely, the freedom to know what my body looked at any given moment began creeping into my daily life outside of the gym. I stopped checking my reflection with my front-facing camera every time I used my phone. I stopped comparing myself to others. The full-length mirror in my living area no longer held me tightly. In spring 2011, I moved into a new apartment and decided not to take it. I didn’t need it anymore.
This change was triggered by the lack of mirrors at my workplace. However, what really broke my ingrained habit of constantly checking my body was the realization that I could be valued for more than just my appearance. I focused on the intangibles that I brought to the table, such as knowledge and commitment, and I learned to be proud of those characteristics—irrespective of my size, shape, or weight. Finally, I stopped focusing on the negative aspects of other people and focused instead on their strengths and how they made my feel. For the first time, I really saw people for who they were—myself included.
Today, I have an actual full-length mirror that I can use for getting dressed. I also have a small mirror that I can use to do my hair and makeup in my bathroom. But my obsession with looking in the mirror has totally changed. When I do look at my body (whether it’s in a mirror, window reflection, etc.I do so with neutrality. I repeat, “This is what my body looks like today” and choose to reflect on what it’s capable of, the person it houses, and all the people who love her. These days, I’m even often pleasantly surprised by the reflection looking back at me and like what I see. I’ve realized my body looks exactly the same whether I can see it or not—the difference is that what it looks like no longer has a death grip on how I feel about myself.
Tips I learned to increase body confidence
1. Limit mirrors
I challenge you to get rid of the full-length mirrors that you obsess over for a month. Although it may seem daunting to give up such a strong practice, you might find freedom from the habit and gain confidence by seeing things from a different perspective. Instead of working out in front of the floor-to-ceiling gym mirror, set yourself up in an area where you can’t fixate on what you look like. When passing by a mirrored store window, take the time you’d normally spend checking out your own reflection to smile at a stranger, window shop the store displays, or simply be more present in the moment. Lastly, replace any mirrors used for “decor” with beautiful art that makes you feel happy.
2. Pay attention to the movement of your body.
I realized that the things that had previously upset me about my body (bloating/hormonal changes/PMS/lack of sleep, dehydration, etc.), were now easily solvable once I stopped obsessing over what I looked like every day. These were both predictable and, even more important, temporary. I used to cry about the way I looked a few days before my period, but now I treat that time with far more grace because I know that it’s normal and no fault of my own. The body is meant to fluctuate—in weight, in symptoms, in cravings, in strength, and in appearance. You will be able to better understand and appreciate the body you have once you realize that it is meant for constant change.
3. Use a mirror affirmation
It would be much easier if I could avoid all reflections, but mirrors are inevitable. Plus, your reflection shouldn’t be a It’s scaryYou can rewire the brain to like what you see. When I do look at my reflection, whether it’s when I’m passing a reflective store window or doing my makeup in the morning, I use a mirror affirmation. Lately, my mirror affirmation has been “This is my body today, and I choose to love it,” reminding me that I am grateful for my body, who I am, and all that I can do, even on the days that I don’t feel my best. It might feel weird at first, but before long, you’ll be repeating your mirror affirmation subconsciously (and believing it too).
4. Focus on qualities that aren’t appearance-related.
If you find yourself worrying about your appearance or feeling unhappy about your body, you can make a list that includes things you love about yourself. Don’t forget to include things you’re good at, the way you make people feel, your educational or work achievements, and all the wonderful qualities that you possess. You will see yourself differently and be more valuable than your body. I learned to trust my own abilities and to be proud of my non-physical traits by limiting the use of mirrors and reframing how I saw myself in them. You will have a better relationship with yourself if you get rid of unnecessary body checks. I promise—you deserve it.
This article is not intended to address body checking or disordered eating. Seek help if you have trouble with your body image, eating disorders, or thoughts or behavior regarding food and eating. Call the National Eating Disorders Association Helpline at 1-800-931-2237 for support, reach out to a qualified medical professional, or, for a 24-hour crisis line, text “NEDA” to 741741.
According to an expert
Source: The Every Girl
