Lizzo raps about being her own soulmate, chart toppers boast about self-confidence (see: “Love Myself” or “I Love Me,” which are both major jams), and heroines are saving themselves instead of waiting for a prince (Legally Blonde, Hidden FiguresFreaking Wonder Woman…need I say more?)–self-love is no new concept. Maybe you’ve tried writing a love letter to yourself, keeping an affirmation folder of compliments or achievements, or regularly giving yourself some TLC with a face mask and a glass of your favorite wine. We know we’re supposed to love ourselves, and are told to learn and practice self-love. But in a world that simultaneously picks apart women’s appearances and pits us against each other, self-love is not always as easy as deciding to love yourself.
In reality, it doesn’t mean staring in the mirror and magically seeing Beyoncé instead of the flaws you typically pick apart, or saying “I love you” to your reflection (without truly believing it). Loving yourself comes down to actions: what do you do every minute of every day to prove to yourself that you’re lovable, deserving, and worthy? Do your relationships, job, and the words you say reflect who you really are? Continue reading to learn 10 concrete ways you can love yourself more in 2022.
1. Get to know yourself
Yes, you’ve been with yourself every second since the day you were born, but how well do you really know who you are? Are you able to identify what you love, what makes your happy, and what you want from life? It’s impossible to love yourself if you don’t Know yourself, so take some time to think about what you believe in, value, and like, and identify your strengths (particularly the ones that have gone unnoticed). Being honest with yourself is key to understanding yourself. Insecurity can lead to illusions or self-deception. True love is about honesty and responsibility in other relationships. Therefore, you need to work on self-awareness. Stop making excuses or minimizing your self so that you can fully embrace your whole self.
2. Talk to yourself like a child
We are constantly in a dialogue with our inner self that either helps or hinders our self-love. As Michael Singer writes in The Untethered Mind, “There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind, you are the one who hears it.” In other words, the way you think, talk to yourself, and see the world is not necessarily who you are, which means it can be adjusted to be more self-loving. You can change your thinking and be more self-loving. canChange your inner dialogue to change how you see yourself.
You can talk to yourself more positively and be more kind to yourself. We’re often more forgiving, compassionate, and loving when we see ourselves as children, rather than as our adult selves. If you are self-critical about your work, you can carry a picture of your childhood in your wallet.
3. Forgive yourself
A common setback of self-love is holding onto things we’ve done in the past. Maybe it was an embarrassing moment that haunts you to this day, or maybe it was a serious mistake that you’re still letting define you. If you cheated in a relationship, got fired from a job, or can recall every single embarrassing moment since you were a kid, you might be holding onto evidence that you’re Not lovable.
Instead, look at how you’ve changed since those past mistakes or embarrassing moments. Realize that even the worst moments have made your character stronger, kinder and more resilient. Without a failed relationship, you wouldn’t be in your current one (or wouldn’t know what you wanted in a relationship), and without being fired, maybe you wouldn’t have found a new passion or be where you are today. Bottom line: See yourself as a person who is growing and not as a collection of past mistakes.
4. Treat yourself the way you would treat loved ones
It sounds cliché, but the most important relationship in your life really Is the one you have with yourself. So why don’t you nurture that relationship like you do with your best friend, mom, or significant other? Self-love can be as simple as loving your self in your love language. Take a look at all the ways you treat people you care about. Do you text them to say hello? Do you surprise them, give them compliments, or wish them “goodnight” before you go to bed? The way you treat people you love is the same as how you treat yourself. Check in with yourself, give compliments, treat yourself regularly, or look in the mirror and say “goodnight” before bed. As silly as it may feel at first, we all give love a certain way, and self-love isn’t any different.
5. Say “no” when you mean no
Boundaries let people know that they expect respect from you, but they also let you know that you value your boundaries. deserve respect; saying “no” when you mean no means you’re putting your needs above others’. Perhaps it’s the coworker who asks for help when you’re already swamped, the neighbor who needs a favor when you’re exhausted, or getting guilted into a holiday event you don’t feel comfortable attending. Every time you say “yes” when you want to say “no” puts other’s opinions and needs above your own, which builds more evidence that you’re not the priority. A “true yes,” or a “yes” that’s in line with your best interest, will make you excited without doubt or worry. Say yes when you mean yes and no when your intent is to say no.
6. Take care of nutrition
Maybe you don’t know a protein from a gram of fat and care more about convenience or taste than nutrients, or maybe you have some ingrained food rules that make you stressed out if you eat a slice of pizza or piece of cake. No matter how your relationship with food is, eating the food you choose should be an act self-love. You’ve heard the old saying that you are what your body eats. It is true, food serves as information to our bodies about what to do. It’s not about “good foods” you’re supposed to eat versus “bad foods” you’re not supposed to eat; it’s about loving your body enough to nourish it with whatever makes it feel its best. Your health is the best gift that you could give to yourself. However, pleasure is also a nutrient, so treat yourself to the foods that you love without guilt, shame or deprivation.
7. …and that goes for nutrition off the plate as well
Junk food can make your body feel ill, just like junk food makes your body feel. The TV shows you watch, the podcasts you listen too, and the books that you read feed your brain just as much as green leafy vegetables and chickpeas. Make sure you’re choosing the most nourishing options: turn off the news, stop watching TV that feels like a waste of time, and read books that inspire you. PS that also goes for your Instagram feed: unfollow or mute anyone who doesn’t make you feel inspired, encouraged, or happy. Overall, be more conscious and choosy with every way you’re nourishing your body.
8. Play more
Take a play evaluation right now: when’s the last time you did anything just Have fun! How do you spend your free time alone that isn’t bingeing Netflix? If it’s difficult (or impossible) for you to think of an answer, your very stressful adult life has likely taken precedence over a very important aspect of life: having fun. Lack of self-love or constant self-judgment might be just because you’re taking life too seriously. Incorporate regular “playtime” in your life by turning on music and dancing, doing something creative like coloring, or going to your local jungle gym and going on the monkey bars (bonus points that it doubles as a workout!). If you feel silly “playing,” that’s even more reason to.
9. Keep your promises to you
People believe that once they lose weight, they will find a great job or a stable relationship. then they’ll feel happy. But self-love is not conditional; it’s a skill you achieve with practice. How can you practice? You keep your word. Confidence just means that you trust your own word: when you say you’re going to do something, you do it. That means cooking dinner instead of getting takeout, waking up for that morning workout, and not going back to your ex (actually–we’ve all been there). Keep in mind that following through with what you plan on doing is worth more than just achieving what you want–it’s building confidence and self-trust, which translates into self-love.
10. Become more “you”
Our purpose in life should be to be more of who we are. We spend so much time trying to fit in, be accepted, make others like us, and blend in that we sometimes stop prioritizing who we are. Many of us still have the middle-school mentality that if we’re loved by others, then we’ll love ourselves, so we try to fit in or seek acceptance. In reality, we love ourselves only when our actions reflect who we are.
Make a list (see #1) of your strengths, interests, passions, and qualities. Then, be Continue reading Unapologetically. Get rid of the activities or traits that don’t feel true to you, and fill up the empty space with more you-ness. Find out what makes your heart sing, and then practice it more often. Compassionate? Hilarious?) Bring them into your work life, relationships, as well as the time you spend alone. Every goal, every wellness intention, every daily schedule, should help you become more of who and what you are.
Source: The Every Girl