Have you ever ever been in a state of affairs the place you end up telling a colleague you’re not near very private particulars about your life? Or are you at all times speaking about your issues while you’re having conversations with pals, with out asking them how they’re feeling. Perhaps you’re continually ranting on social media about that one factor that will get to you and find yourself sharing an excessive amount of. In all these conditions, what would possibly look like harmless venting to you would possibly truly be one thing poisonous – trauma dumping.
Jean XM Chen, director and counsellor at Relationship Issues, tells us that venting is a launch of frustration and stress to somebody we really feel a way of acceptance with. And whereas trauma dumping shouldn’t be a scientific time period that’s utilized by counselling professionals, it’s usually understood as sharing unfavourable feelings that have an effect on the listener negatively. The distinction is that trauma dumping doesn’t maintain the emotions of the listener – you’re doing it with out their consent.
“After venting, there may be often a way of gratitude expressed to the listener, a willingness to do one thing concerning the unhappiness and/or admit one’s mistake (if any),” Jean explains. “This manner, the listener will get to know that they’re appreciated, don’t must overly fear about you and have helped you turn out to be a greater model of your self. The listener additionally feels that they’ll vent to you too in the event that they want to.
“Nevertheless, in trauma dumping, the listener sometimes feels helpless, nervous about you and/or doesn’t really feel that they need to vent to you,” she provides.
Supply: Her World