{"id":1792,"date":"2021-12-31T14:45:41","date_gmt":"2021-12-31T14:45:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/womenmag.net\/lifestyle\/5-things-to-keep-in-mind-if-you-have-engagement-envy\/"},"modified":"2021-12-31T14:45:52","modified_gmt":"2021-12-31T14:45:52","slug":"5-things-to-keep-in-mind-if-you-have-engagement-envy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/womenmag.net\/lifestyle\/5-things-to-keep-in-mind-if-you-have-engagement-envy\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Things to Keep in Mind If You Have Engagement Envy"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Single gals or those not yet engaged can find it difficult this time of the year. Between having to explain your relationship status to your aunt at the dinner table or running into old high school friends who\u2019ve already gotten married, it\u2019s easy to feel like the odd one out. Maybe you\u2019re seeing others getting the thing you want and wondering why it happened for them and Not you, or maybe that\u2019s not\u00a0<\/em>what you want (like, at all) and you\u2019re over feeling like it\u2019s supposed to be.<\/span><\/p>\n

Personally, I have a lot of anxiety surrounding my relationships (more on that another time), so I\u2019ve spent many therapy sessions discussing engagement envy or anxiety over where I\u2019m \u201csupposed to be\u201d in my relationship. My therapist has provided me with lots of tips for when I start to think something is wrong with me or my relationship just because we haven\u2019t taken that next step yet, so I\u2019m sharing them with you. Here are five things to remember when your friends and family are getting engaged.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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1. It\u2019s OK to set boundaries (even if that means muting your newly engaged friend)<\/h2>\n

Do you have a friend who talks only about wedding planning, even after you’ve been ghosted? Or does your mom love to remind you that she can\u2019t wait to have grandchildren one day\u2014if only you could \u201csettle down?\u201d Yep, you deserve to set some boundaries. Boundaries serve as a roadmap for people in your life to follow (and sometimes as a reminder to yourself) when it comes to topics and behaviors that you won\u2019t tolerate. It may seem unnecessary to spell it out for some people, but maybe your bestie is just caught up in the excitement of her engagement that it slipped her mind that you\u2019re going through a dating dry spell or your mom doesn\u2019t know that the reminder is actually very stress-inducing. It\u2019s OK (and healthy) to remind your loved ones of how you feel and what you need from them. That way, when you\u2019re ready to talk about wedding planning with your friend, you can be fully present with her and not feel like you\u2019re sacrificing your mental health.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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2. Focus on what you want to attract<\/h2>\n

Are you one of those people who feel bad about everything? Yes, I have. It seems that they attract more negative things into the lives of others. According to the Law of Attraction, that\u2019s because your thoughts manifest your reality. For example, if you\u2019re constantly complaining about being single, focusing on how you\u2019re \u201calways the bridesmaid, never the bride,\u201d or joking about how all the good partners are taken, that\u2019s what you\u2019re going to continue to attract and experience. Likewise, if you constantly worry about not wanting to get married, you\u2019ll feel resentment and annoyance for the people around you who are getting engaged instead of just feeling happy for them for reaching a milestone that they want. Rather than focusing on what you\u2019re missing out on, focus on all that you have. Your reality will be as you want it to be.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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3. Your timeline does not look like anyone else\u2019s<\/h2>\n

I\u2019ve always been a big rule follower, so when my friends started getting engaged before I was ready, I thought I was doing something wrong by not following suit. I\u2019d graduated when I was supposed to, gotten a job when I was supposed to\u2014did I totally miss the point when I was supposed to get married? I had to reframe my thinking that just because I wasn\u2019t doing what everyone else was doing didn\u2019t mean I was failing. We all have different lives, which means there\u2019s no one \u201cright\u201d timeline. <\/span><\/p>\n

Instead of comparing your life with the imaginary timelines that others around you seem to follow, think about your own timeline. Are you landing your dream job or getting a Master\u2019s degree? Are you having fun with your friends, prioritizing traveling, or working on self-love\/well-being? There are so many huge milestones and important moments throughout the entire timeline of your life, it doesn\u2019t really matter when (or if) you get married. Instead of questioning why your timeline looks different from someone else\u2019s, expect (and appreciate!) Every timeline is unique.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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4. It\u2019s OK if your values and goals look different<\/h2>\n

If you\u2019ve always dreamed more about traveling the world or owning a business than you\u2019ve dreamed of being a bride, it\u2019s not wrong to ditch the \u201cbride\u201d idea altogether. Even if you feel like it, Everyone<\/em> around you is getting engaged, the value and importance of your life is not determined by whether or not you (ever) get married\u2014it is determined based on how you lived out your truest, happiest life. R<\/span>You can identify the values that are most important to your life so that you can live the lifestyle you want. Even though I’m in a wonderful relationship with my husband, owning my house is more important to me than getting engaged. Not everyone has understood that, but that\u2019s OK. I\u2019m happy fulfilling my own goals in the order that feels right to me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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5. Relationships don\u2019t have to end in marriage to be successful<\/h2>\n

I used to think every relationship I was in had to be \u201cThe One\u201d or else it was a waste of my time. While I still enjoy being in long-term relationships, I\u2019ve learned that marriage doesn\u2019t necessarily have to be the end goal, and whether or not a relationship ends does not dictate if it was worth having. There are many ways to assess the success of any relationship, other than whether or not it ended with a proposal. It is a win when you learn more about yourself and what your needs are. Did you have a lot of fun and made memories with someone you loved for a few months or years? That was a time well spent. <\/span>Dating is supposed to be fun<\/span>, so don\u2019t put too much pressure on yourself or your relationship. If it\u2019s meant to work out long term, it will. And if it doesn\u2019t? You have a long and fulfilling life ahead of you. You will meet interesting people, find more fulfilling connections, and figure out what makes your heart sing (single, or together). Now that\u2019s\u00a0<\/em>My kind of timeline.<\/span><\/p>\n

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12 Things I Wish I Could Share With My Single Self<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Source: The Every Girl<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Single gals or those not yet engaged can find it difficult this time of the year. Between having to explain your relationship status to your aunt at the dinner table or running into old high school friends who\u2019ve already gotten married, it\u2019s easy to feel like the odd one out. Maybe you\u2019re seeing others getting […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1794,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/womenmag.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1792"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/womenmag.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/womenmag.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/womenmag.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/womenmag.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1792"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/womenmag.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1792\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1795,"href":"https:\/\/womenmag.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1792\/revisions\/1795"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/womenmag.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1794"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/womenmag.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1792"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/womenmag.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1792"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/womenmag.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1792"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}